I went to a family diner
I ordered a “family omelette”.
The menu wasn’t specific
So I waited to see what I’d get.
When they delivered the omelette
I found myself rather stricken
‘Cause what they called a “family omelette”
Was apparently just eggs and chicken.
The submenu options included
The “family omelette deluxe”
Which, inspired by Angelina Jolie,
Was chicken with eggs from some ducks.
The Conservative family omelette
Came with napkins that asked you to pray for it.
The Liberal family omelette
Was the same, but made someone else pay for it.
The feminist family omelette
Had no eggs and weighed 300 pounds.
The black family omelette had half as much chicken
‘Cause was no daddy chicken around.
The Japanese family omelette
Came with an unrealistic hairdo
And, upon looking closer, you’ll find
It has better SAT scores than you.
When I went to that family diner
I brought my future wife on a date.
I still visit on weekends and holidays
When I don’t have a lot on my plate.
