Tag Archives: Family

Or Just Misspell A Biblical Name

I see little boys and girls

With very unique names

Like Cadence, Weston, Apple, Peityn,

Lembas, Crêpe, and Flames.

Now if your name is “Flames” you’re fine,

But “Crookshanks…” not so much.

So here are some modern names

I think are better much:

Verity, Sanity, Clamperl, Spore,

Visigoth, Boromir, Wikstrom, Implore,

Magnitude, Honeydunce, Kraftool, Parade.

Name your kid one of these and they’ll have it made!


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Too Soon?

You’ll remember me

When you smell the sun

On the earth between your toes

In the forest we

Explored as kids,

Where the tree we planted grows.

You’ll remember me

When the bulldogs win,

When you wear my number 9

When you see two kids

Sitting in the stands

Though the lights no longer shine.

You’ll remember me

When you hear our song,

The one I chose to sing

When I kneeled down

And I gave my voice

‘Cause I couldn’t buy a ring.

You’ll remember me

When our children smile

And ask you for a snack,

As you trim their crust

And recall that day,

When our baby hugged you back.

You’ll remember me

When the house we built

Is serene in Autumn’s glow,

When the snow comes down

And its quiet like

It was eighteen years ago.

You’ll remember me

As our thin white hair

Falls on our Yahtzee game.

You’ll remember this

And so much more

If you’ll just tell me your name.

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Happy Memories and Family…ish

Snow and presents,

Carols, nostalgia.

Yes, ’tis the season

And that’s why I called ‘ya.

We had a great year.

Yeah, the kids are alright.

I’m glad you’re my family.

Call you next year. Good night.

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I Can Safely Write This Because She Doesn’t Read My Blog And Is Imaginary

Some sayings sound satisfying

But don’t apply to real life,

Like “what comes up must come down”

Doesn’t work for the weight of my wife…

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Weirdness Is Genetic

This one takes sone explanation.

‘Twas late and I lacked imagination

So I asked “what to write? The words just won’t come!

My parents said “Karma or Fritos.”

Now you know where I get it from.

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Mirror Mirror, Confidant

Mirror mirror

On the wall,

Inanimate object

Which is humanly tall,

Always honest,

Occasionally kind.

Some make it their lives.

Some pay it no mind.

Mirror mirror

(The rearview one),

You’re much more useful

Than my son.

You save my life

Most every day 

Which is more than for

That little jerk I can say…

Mirror mirror

Speckled with spit

Above the sink

Next to where I shit.

You are a helpful

Reflective fellow

And thanks to you

My teeth are lighter yellow.

Mirror mirror

That I clutch,

I don’t think my Dad

Likes me very much.

It started when

I pushed him out of the boat

When we were touring the castle

With the shark infested moat.

Mirror mirror

Above the bed,

You don’t judge me

For missing half my head.

For now I sleep

But tomorrow’ll be fun.

I’m going make-up skydiving

With my son.

Mirror mirror,

Reflective lake

My fall you are

Destined to break.

The chute did nothing

When I pulled the pin.

Hey, what’s that gray

Triangular fin?

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Youngest Child Genes

My Brother is wealthy,

My Sister is wise,

My Dad’s got great hair

And my Mom has great eyes.

You should see my Aunt’s heart

Or my Grandfather’s spine,

But if you like cuticles

No one can beat mine.

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