Yesterday, an amazing thing
Almost happened to moi!
As the French would say, I almost was part
Of a menage-a-troi.
I was missing only one small thing
When all was said and done.
But I didn’t mind. I found it fine,
My little menage-a-one.
Tag Archives: Bad
Heroes
You go out to the movies
To watch a giant screen,
Hoping to be entertained
By J-Lo or Charlie Sheen.
But what’s hot at the movies
Are Superheroes. I must say
That I believe in real life.
We’re all heroes in our way.
According to the latest films
Batman was a wealthy man
Who was horribly afraid of bats.
By that logic, I’m Spiderman.
Superman came from the sky
And had a funny name (Kal-El).
So pilots named Shaniqua
Are super instead of lame (Well, well).
And when I started this poem
It seemed easier than it is.
So I’m leaving, to fix my wrinkly shirt,
‘Cause at the iron, man, I’m a whizz!
Filed under Poems
Grammar
I really hate persons
Who dont right good.
They should learn to use grammar;
Oh yes: they should.
Its such a simple thing
To do good at.
Me and my friends
Dont think grammars old-hat.
So take grammar back!
Take the, pledge, today,
Grammars real important.
Hip Hip; Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Filed under Poems
How to be a Great Lover
Most men want a woman,
and women want a man.
It seems like love should be easy,
and with my new method, it can!
My method’s known as L.A.M.E.
and it’s an acronym
For a method that works for her
and works even better for him!
“L” stands for lower standards,
and that’s some good advice.
For instance, you meet a friendly man
and he likes you, but has lice.
Lower down your standards
and I’m sure that you’ll say
“I don’t mind that you’re icky, dear,”
and now we move on to “A.”
“A” stands for altercations,
and it’s best if you have many.
Celebrities fight. They fight a lot,
and they make a pretty penny.
So next time your lover insults you
and you feel you want to argue
Fight it out in a public place
and Hollywood will write a show for you!
“M” stands for me, myself, and I
and I think it’s plain to see
That you’re the most improtant part of a relationship
and that’s a good place to be.
So when your lover says to you
“and you never think of me,”
You’ll answer that you think of yourself
and that’s the way it should be.
“E” stands for exit plan,
and it’s probably obvious
That if you follow the instructions
and you come to “wedded bliss”
You’re going to need an exit plan
and you’ll already be prepared.
So try it on your loved one now,
and try not to be scared.
Say “Honey, you are ugly
and I really couldn’t care less.”
Then fight it out in a public place
and televise your stress!
Remember, love is selfish
and think of “me,” good man.
Then run to love another day,
and use your exit plan.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 