Tag Archives: Cliche

My (Virtual) Life Is A Joke

A resurrected hero

From a bygone age

Walked into a bar.

He killed rats in the basement

And looted their bodies,

But that’s all I’ve played so far.

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And I Bet They Have Cute Uniforms There

Do you want to be a wizard,

A chef or a vampire?

Do you want to train a monster

Or have power over fire?

Do you want to be a warrior

Who fights an evil horde?

Or maybe it’s that normal school

Just leaves you feeling bored.

If you want to read your family’s minds

Or own a talking cat,

Chances are, in animé,

There’s a school for that.

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American RPGs

I’d only just been conceived
When, as an adult, I found
I was in a prison, filled with rats
So deep and underground.

I was modestly unclothed,
Armed with club and knife,
And destined by narrative necessity
To live an extraordinary life.

The rats were slain,
I leveled up,
Taking my first sip
Of combat’s cup,

And the rest, they say
Is history.
So it is in every
RPG.

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Country Music

Well I live down in Texas ’cause I just can’t take

That California heat.

I go honky tonkin’ on Saturday night

With my two left feet.

My dog died last Tuesday, but I don’t mind,

I’ve got used to it.

And when it comes to tanning evenly, I had a chance

And I totally blew it!

 

I don’t say the F-bomb, I only say “Truck.”

I fish on the weekends and hunt for duck.

I like to ride horses, and stables I muck,

And if you don’t like women, then country songs suck.

 

Well this is the part in the song where I

Talk about a girl.

She’s generally half-dressed and wearin’ jewelry

Made out of mother-o’-pearl.

This is a bit of topic, but isn’t the mother of pearl

Just an oyster?

And while I sing about Jesus, I don’t sing about nuns

Or about their cloister.

 

I don’t say the F-bomb, I only say “Truck.”

I fish on the weekends and hunt for duck.

I like to ride horses, and stables I muck,

And if you don’t like women, then country songs suck.

 

Someone died of cancer,

Someone cheated on their man.

Someone rode on a choo-choo train

And ate food from a can.

I think I’m running out of

Half-decent cliches,

So Let’s sing the chorus one more time

Then we’ll go our separate ways!

 

I don’t say the F-bomb, I only say “Truck.”

I fish on the weekends and hunt for duck.

I like to ride horses, and stables I muck,

And if you don’t like women, then country songs suck.

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Filed under Lyrics