Ten persent of school
Is lurning how to get along.
Forty-two persent
Is lurning that you spelled stuph rong.
Maybe five persent
Is how to fill your plate and cup.
The other eighty-five persent
Is how to add things up.
Tag Archives: School
When The Dragon Finally Wins
Where once there was a chosen one
There stands the lovely fool,
A hero who can’t distinguish
The prison from his school.
The chosen of the dragon and
The savior of the mass
Who once was slaying goblins now
Must take his english class.
The heroes, rogues, magi, and bards,
Barbarians and knights
Have no hydras to vanquish, thus
They learn the Bill of Rights.
What was a land of magic, full
Of ogres, orcs, and elves
Becomes a land where they must slay
The voices in themselves,
The ones that say “You are worthy,
“You are, by nature, fair.”
Teacher says “Slay those parasites,”
Preaching how not to care.
Though no fantastic heroes live
Today, perhaps they can;
There is a dragon, as yet unslain,
Whose form we call “The Man.”
We have the weapons, we have the words,
To fight on, brave and true.
Think for yourself and find your way
To start the tale anew.
Filed under Poems
Book Reports
Quite a number of years ago
There lived a certain so-and-so
Who often times did… well, you know…
And it turned out like you’d think.
Another someone did react
And that, I can say, is a fact.
Some things were had and some were lacked
And some of those things were pink.
Then stuff went down all over town
And what was pink soon turned to brown
And Jack fell down and broke his crown
And someone felt remorse!
Then the tale wrapped up in the knick of time
And what was pink, then brown, turned into lime
And all in all it was sublime.
What? Of course I read the book!
Filed under Poems
Oligarchy Elementary Is Accepting New Students
I beg your pardon
For I mean to yap at thee
My case for nonconsensual
Reallocation of apathy,
For were we to allow
Our youth to expand
Their range of beliefs
We’d soon lose command
Of the best and the brightest
And the dullards alike.
Though the latter don’t argue
The former’d take a hike
And should free-thinkers see
All the ways we have lied…
Well, that is a notion
We must not abide.
Thus we must imprison
(At least to an extent)
Those who’ve not yet reached
The age of consent
And proceed to tell them
Facts they will ignore
To distract from the world
That they long to explore.
We’ll teach them arithmetic,
Reading, and writing
But most of all that
There is no need for fighting
For if each one resisted
Each oppressive foe
Then our script would be flipped
We, the high, become low.
Thus state education
In all things miscellaneous
Shall ensure that our underlings
Are not extemporaneous.
Thus closes my pitch
For public education.
We overlords live
Thanks to school’s misdirection.
Filed under Poems
Why I Got A Hepatitis-F On My Biology Exam
“Hepatitis A
And Hepatitis B
Are differentiated by
The number of hours they study.”
Filed under Poems
Networking for Psychos
I’m a fan of gatherings
Like a conference or a fest
Where people with shared interests
Can do what they do best.
I suggest a conference
For wannabe school shooters
Where they can get some practice.
Also welcome: thieves and looters.
Filed under Poems
And I Bet They Have Cute Uniforms There
Do you want to be a wizard,
A chef or a vampire?
Do you want to train a monster
Or have power over fire?
Do you want to be a warrior
Who fights an evil horde?
Or maybe it’s that normal school
Just leaves you feeling bored.
If you want to read your family’s minds
Or own a talking cat,
Chances are, in animé,
There’s a school for that.
Filed under Poems
