Tag Archives: School

How To Be Popular

If I had breath like Godzilla

And my sneeze were a nuclear blast

I still wouldn’t like playing kickball

But at least I’d get picked before last.

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Leading Tomorrow’s Youth

Instead of “Ladies and Gentlemen”

I said “Hello Heathens Galore”.

Now everybody knows my name

And I don’t get to teach preschool no more.

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What Your Teacher Is Really Thinking About

I remember when saying “Thank you Ma’am”

Was polite, not a micro-aggression.

I recall when when “Boys and girls”

Was how you called kids to attention.

I was there when, instead of a mask,

We taught kids to cover their cough.

Now I work and stay quiet ‘cause I can’t deny

It is nice to still get summers off.

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Guess Who’s Done With Nerd School?

IDK about IP,

If DSL allows VoiP,

Or if I’ll get PTSD

From studying about IT.

IDC I got a B…

I still got a BS Degree

Now I can sit and watch TV

And feel no burning when I pee.

IDGAF about

Telnet, USB, or a SaaS cloud.

All that is behind me now,

Like CD Rom and WoW.

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Ah, School…

Remember the days when you thought

Whether you’d be successful or not

Was dependent on if you were right

About whether it’s stalagmite or stalactite?

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If Academic Papers Were Haikus: An Unnecessarily Wordy Inquiry Into The Five Syllable, Seven Syllable, Five Syllable Metric Pattern Of Japanese Poetry Because My Professor Assigned A 500-Word Paper (Please Don’t Check My Margins Or Change The Font Color)

A haiku has five

Syllables, and then seven

On the second line

According to a

Study by Milner and Stein

In 2005.

They discovered that

The five-seven-five pattern

Was correlated

With most old haiku.

That means haiku have three lines.


This correlation

Was confirmed by researchers

Who can count numbers.

To learn more, check out

My works cited I stole from


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It All Makes Sense Now…

Doctors say lots of children


And would sit all day long

Just to watch some TV

But instead they must go

To be receive state education

In a room full of bullies

And other frustration.

We do this to children

Because they must learn

About how they can focus

Until they adjourn

As good reborn children

Instead of mere scamps,

Thus why schools should be called

“Concentration camps.”

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Which of the Following Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

Yet another sign

That our publics schools suck ass:

They have a grading rubric

For a “creative writing” class.

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Deshaun Recalls His Scholastic Endeavors

I didn’t learn much at public school

But I remember the important stuff

Like “Everything in the world is free

“If you can run fast enough.”

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Why Teachers Don’t Get Paid Enough

I didn’t like to talk

So I said, “I hate speech.”

Mr. King was sad

Because it’s his job to teach.

He said, “That is incorrect.

“You should say, ‘I use hate speech.'”

I quoted him out of context

And now he’s homeless on the beach.

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