If I had breath like Godzilla
And my sneeze were a nuclear blast
I still wouldn’t like playing kickball
But at least I’d get picked before last.
If I had breath like Godzilla
And my sneeze were a nuclear blast
I still wouldn’t like playing kickball
But at least I’d get picked before last.
Filed under Poems
Instead of “Ladies and Gentlemen”
I said “Hello Heathens Galore”.
Now everybody knows my name
And I don’t get to teach preschool no more.
Filed under Poems
I remember when saying “Thank you Ma’am”
Was polite, not a micro-aggression.
I recall when when “Boys and girls”
Was how you called kids to attention.
I was there when, instead of a mask,
We taught kids to cover their cough.
Now I work and stay quiet ‘cause I can’t deny
It is nice to still get summers off.
Filed under Poems
IDK about IP,
If DSL allows VoiP,
Or if I’ll get PTSD
From studying about IT.
IDC I got a B…
I still got a BS Degree
Now I can sit and watch TV
And feel no burning when I pee.
IDGAF about
Telnet, USB, or a SaaS cloud.
All that is behind me now,
Like CD Rom and WoW.
Filed under Poems
Remember the days when you thought
Whether you’d be successful or not
Was dependent on if you were right
About whether it’s stalagmite or stalactite?
Filed under Poems
A haiku has five
Syllables, and then seven
On the second line
According to a
Study by Milner and Stein
In 2005.
They discovered that
The five-seven-five pattern
Was correlated
With most old haiku.
That means haiku have three lines.
Polysyllabic.
This correlation
Was confirmed by researchers
Who can count numbers.
To learn more, check out
My works cited I stole from
Wikipedia.
Filed under Poems
Doctors say lots of children
Have ADHD
And would sit all day long
Just to watch some TV
But instead they must go
To be receive state education
In a room full of bullies
And other frustration.
We do this to children
Because they must learn
About how they can focus
Until they adjourn
As good reborn children
Instead of mere scamps,
Thus why schools should be called
“Concentration camps.”
Filed under Poems
Yet another sign
That our publics schools suck ass:
They have a grading rubric
For a “creative writing” class.
Filed under Poems
I didn’t learn much at public school
But I remember the important stuff
Like “Everything in the world is free
“If you can run fast enough.”
Filed under Poems
I didn’t like to talk
So I said, “I hate speech.”
Mr. King was sad
Because it’s his job to teach.
He said, “That is incorrect.
“You should say, ‘I use hate speech.'”
I quoted him out of context
And now he’s homeless on the beach.
Filed under Poems