Tag Archives: Anime

It’s A Valid Question!

I’m no longer a member

Of the anime club

Because I asked Mr. Bushi

Whether Japanese mermaids

Would feel conflicted

If someone asked them to eat sushi.

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Meanwhile, At Netflix Headquarters…

In Japan they make cartoons

With people named Jojo or Light…

And even though they’re Japanese

The characters are all white…

But when we film an adaptation

Fans of the original are mad

Because we only hired white actors

And, apparently, that’s bad?

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Reasons I’m Moving To Japan

I wish, when first you met someone

You’d know if you should care

And could see if they’re important

By the weirdness of their hair.

I wish that all decisions

Could be solved in such a way

That a card game or a cook-off

Would decide who rules the day.

I wish that every skill

Could be mastered in an hour

Through a training montage sequence

And above-3,000 power.

But I would trade these wishes

Plus a leg and six months pay

For the girls in real life

To be the girls in anime.

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Subtitles Wa, Kawaii Desu

I watched American cartoons

All day every day.

My dad said I should read more

So now I watch anime.

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Never Fear: I’m Committed To Discovering The Answer Through Careful Hands-On Research

I don’t know if it’s tiny skirts,

Amble chests, or giant eyes

Wherein the popular appeal

Of the anime female lies.

What part of perfect, flowing hair

And cheerful attitudes

Holds such mysterious appeal

To socially awkward dudes?

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And I Bet They Have Cute Uniforms There

Do you want to be a wizard,

A chef or a vampire?

Do you want to train a monster

Or have power over fire?

Do you want to be a warrior

Who fights an evil horde?

Or maybe it’s that normal school

Just leaves you feeling bored.

If you want to read your family’s minds

Or own a talking cat,

Chances are, in animé,

There’s a school for that.

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