I’m no longer a member
Of the anime club
Because I asked Mr. Bushi
Whether Japanese mermaids
Would feel conflicted
If someone asked them to eat sushi.
Tag Archives: Anime
Meanwhile, At Netflix Headquarters…
In Japan they make cartoons
With people named Jojo or Light…
And even though they’re Japanese
The characters are all white…
But when we film an adaptation
Fans of the original are mad
Because we only hired white actors
And, apparently, that’s bad?
Filed under Poems
Reasons I’m Moving To Japan
I wish, when first you met someone
You’d know if you should care
And could see if they’re important
By the weirdness of their hair.
I wish that all decisions
Could be solved in such a way
That a card game or a cook-off
Would decide who rules the day.
I wish that every skill
Could be mastered in an hour
Through a training montage sequence
And above-3,000 power.
But I would trade these wishes
Plus a leg and six months pay
For the girls in real life
To be the girls in anime.
Filed under Poems
Subtitles Wa, Kawaii Desu
I watched American cartoons
All day every day.
My dad said I should read more
So now I watch anime.
Filed under Poems
Never Fear: I’m Committed To Discovering The Answer Through Careful Hands-On Research
I don’t know if it’s tiny skirts,
Amble chests, or giant eyes
Wherein the popular appeal
Of the anime female lies.
What part of perfect, flowing hair
And cheerful attitudes
Holds such mysterious appeal
To socially awkward dudes?
Filed under Poems
And I Bet They Have Cute Uniforms There
Do you want to be a wizard,
A chef or a vampire?
Do you want to train a monster
Or have power over fire?
Do you want to be a warrior
Who fights an evil horde?
Or maybe it’s that normal school
Just leaves you feeling bored.
If you want to read your family’s minds
Or own a talking cat,
Chances are, in animé,
There’s a school for that.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 