Tag Archives: Clothing

Kilts, On The Other Hand, Are Amazing

Shorts are the least sexy

Item of clothing

A human can possibly wear,

Beating out Birkenstocks,

Codpieces, bandanas,

And even trench coats made of hair.

I see Lady Gaga

Wear a dress of raw meat

And I think “Well, I guess it’s okay.”

But if I see your knees

And you’re not in a skirt

Then you’ve probably ruined my day.

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Garb-led Thoughts

I wonder if pants are perverts,

Delighted by their jobs,

Or whether some are picky

And are nether-region snobs.

And how do skirts and dresses

Differ from their legged kinds?

I imagine they are similar,

But with much more open minds.

And what of kilts and leggings?

Of loincloths and codpieces?

What difference is the length and style

Of those modesty-guarding fleeces?

Perhaps I’ll never know the musings

Of my lower body clothing.

I just hope their destiny

Is something they aren’t loathing.

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