Tag Archives: Horrible

About Your Pet Spider…

If you tell me to take care of

A monster with eight eyes

I hope you won’t be unhappy

When it inevitably dies.


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Kilts, On The Other Hand, Are Amazing

Shorts are the least sexy

Item of clothing

A human can possibly wear,

Beating out Birkenstocks,

Codpieces, bandanas,

And even trench coats made of hair.

I see Lady Gaga

Wear a dress of raw meat

And I think “Well, I guess it’s okay.”

But if I see your knees

And you’re not in a skirt

Then you’ve probably ruined my day.

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The Bag and Pipes

I’ve been told by friends of mine
That I have no filter
Because I saw a naked Scottish man
And said he was “off-kilter.”

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