Tag Archives: Cologne

Hello readers! Today I’m excited to announce my next book, “Tepid Gruel and other short poems you probably shouldn’t read but will because you’re already looking at this book so, hey, why not?”

Below is the title poem from the book. I hope you enjoy because I’m proud and excited to share it with you and also because I’m very poor and want you to buy the book when it comes out. 🙂

I’m launching a new cologne line

I think is pretty cool

Inspired by the “adequate.”

I call it “Tepid Gruel.”

It smells like tap water, limp white bread,

And past-its-prime shampoo.

It makes a statement, as if to say

“I’m alright… how are you?”

Critics are calling it “fine, I guess,”

“Non-threateningly bland,”

“An understudy’s ideal scent,”

“Inconsequential, thus not panned.”

So if you’re worried you might be liked

Or noticed in a way

Be sure to spritz on some Tepid Gruel

Before you start your day!