Tag Archives: Dirty Mind

Dirty Old Sailor Describes A Fond Memory

You’re nervous when you look upon

Her soft, humid curves.

You want nothing more than to

Give all that she deserves

And even as your fingers shake

When you touch her humid walls

The warmth deeper within her

To all your instinct calls.

Trembling, you go inside

And hear her many sounds

As wave and wave again

Against her body pounds.

You know whatever happens

You must not be seen…

Some of you thought of your girlfriend,

But this poem’s about a submarine.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

The Dirty Mind Test

The colored leaves of Autumn

Were sweet, naïve, and tame

But all of that changed

When the leaf blower came…

They shuddered and whispered

And were blown like a flag,

Then they wiped themselves off

With the maple leaf rag.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Seems An Odd Thing To Screw In

You ask about plumbers,

Bankers, musicians,

Comedians, Atheists,

Boxers, physicians.

You ask how many

Of each it would take

To screw in a lightbulb

For goodness sake!

You look for an answer

And I have one for you;

For each subgroup listed

You only need two.

How many it takes

Isn’t the question to say.

You ask how do you fit two people

In a lightbulb anyway?

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems