Tag Archives: Double Entendre

Disclaimer: This Poem Is False… My Wife Takes A Half Marathon

My wife stole 5,280 feet

On our honeymoon cruise down the Nile.

But that’s really ok,

‘Cause you know what they say:

Give her an inch and she’ll take a mile.

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Seems An Odd Thing To Screw In

You ask about plumbers,

Bankers, musicians,

Comedians, Atheists,

Boxers, physicians.

You ask how many

Of each it would take

To screw in a lightbulb

For goodness sake!

You look for an answer

And I have one for you;

For each subgroup listed

You only need two.

How many it takes

Isn’t the question to say.

You ask how do you fit two people

In a lightbulb anyway?

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Playing With Myself

They see me in an empty room

Running in circles without any cares.

What they don’t know is that I am losing

A one-person tourney of musical chairs.

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Matchmaker

You’d think that I

The matchmaker

Would find a lovely wife.

Alas, somehow

I’m lonely still,

But making fires is no strife.

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My Special Someone

I love the warm feeling

When I am inside you.

I knew it the moment

That I first tried you.

You comfort my body

And clear out my head,

But now I must leave you.

I’m sorry, my bed.

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