Tag Archives: Double Entendre

The Dirty Mind Test

The colored leaves of Autumn

Were sweet, naïve, and tame

But all of that changed

When the leaf blower came…

They shuddered and whispered

And were blown like a flag,

Then they wiped themselves off

With the maple leaf rag.

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Disclaimer: This Poem Is False… My Wife Takes A Half Marathon

My wife stole 5,280 feet

On our honeymoon cruise down the Nile.

But that’s really ok,

‘Cause you know what they say:

Give her an inch and she’ll take a mile.

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Seems An Odd Thing To Screw In

You ask about plumbers,

Bankers, musicians,

Comedians, Atheists,

Boxers, physicians.

You ask how many

Of each it would take

To screw in a lightbulb

For goodness sake!

You look for an answer

And I have one for you;

For each subgroup listed

You only need two.

How many it takes

Isn’t the question to say.

You ask how do you fit two people

In a lightbulb anyway?

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Playing With Myself

They see me in an empty room

Running in circles without any cares.

What they don’t know is that I am losing

A one-person tourney of musical chairs.

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You’d think that I

The matchmaker

Would find a lovely wife.

Alas, somehow

I’m lonely still,

But making fires is no strife.

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My Special Someone

I love the warm feeling

When I am inside you.

I knew it the moment

That I first tried you.

You comfort my body

And clear out my head,

But now I must leave you.

I’m sorry, my bed.

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