Tag Archives: Long title

My Pledge Fir Self-Improvement (Typo Not Originally Intended, But Also Left Uncorrected For Irony’s Sake)

I’ve done a bit of research

In a casual sort of way

And I noticed quite a pattern

In the things I’ve got to say.

If I write a poem

About my lack of motivation

After weeks of doing lots

It gets a digital standing ovation.

If instead my lazy poems

Come two right in a row

You tell me what “a pair” is

And that it’s something I should grow.

What I’ve concluded from this study

Of a couple offhand posts

Is that all is fine and dandy

With parodies and roasts

But when I’m being honest

With my slothful true demeanor

You fail to appreciate

How the browner grass is greener.

The stanza which precedes this one

May not make sense to you.

I don’t get it either

So I’ll tell you what we’ll do:

Go ahead and “like” this poem.

Go and comment and subscribe.

Share it, tweet it, email it,

And show it’s how you gibe!

Now when you disobey me

And this poem gets zero “likes”

I can get off my high horse

And quit downing Mike and Ikes

And maybe in the future

I’ll come to realize

That writing better mediocrity

Has value in your eyes.

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I Realized Recently That I Have Been Writing Very Short Poems With Extremely Long Titles, And I’d Just Like To Say That After Today That Won’t Happen Anymore… Probably

I’m just sayin’.

Feel free to weigh in.

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Haiku and Rhyming Rant on the Earth’s Most Perfect Job (With an unwritten salute to unnecessarily long titles, and other worldly pleasures)

I heard from a friend a short while ago

That a Haiku’s purpose is to tell a story

Using as few words as possible, and so

Here are some Haikus, in their polysyllabic glory.

 

“Many desperately

Ask the world for love and cash.

Many are ignored.”

 

Now, it seems I must confess

That Haiku was really depressing.

Perhaps optimism would redress

The view of life I was stressing?

 

“Many people ask

The world to give happiness.

Sometimes earth complies.”

 

Still not there yet, so I think

It’s time to make it fun.

I will now rewrite a chink

and replace it with a pun.

 

“Lots of folks get screwed

By the world for doing stuff.

Drillers, thus, are happy.”

 

And thus we stumble on the truth:

That two lines from now I’ll rhyme with lurker.

So by haiku we see, and we call “foresooth!”

To be happy, be a construction worker.

 

Construction:

Where screwing something means you did your job right.

Politician:

See “Construction”

 

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