Tag Archives: Haiku

Colorful Language

Purple golden orange

Shines green in an azure pool.

What’s in these brownies?

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Evening Haikus

Nightfall comes upon

My body. It’s dark and long…

But no homo, ‘kay?

——————————————

Everything is dark,

Quiet, calm, the world at peace.

Then I stub my toe…

———————————————

I should be asleep

But instead I’m writing jokes

About dicks and pain.

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My Job Application

Today I applied

For a job at Haikuists

And my resume

Was almost complete

But alas this applicant

Didn’t think ahead.

They asked for Haikus

About Love and Spring and Cats

But they had no space

For me to submit

These poems, and so I post

Them for your sake here:

Spring In Protland

Spring is in the air…

So is pollen, and it rains

While the sun still shines

Cats

Fickle feline friend…

Six pounds of pure killing force…

What a cutey pie!

Love

You will meet someone

And your soul will fill with fire

Be sure to hydrate

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Haiku, Because Obviously

At my girlfriend’s house…

Use your imagination

Or don’t… that’s your call

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If Academic Papers Were Haikus: An Unnecessarily Wordy Inquiry Into The Five Syllable, Seven Syllable, Five Syllable Metric Pattern Of Japanese Poetry Because My Professor Assigned A 500-Word Paper (Please Don’t Check My Margins Or Change The Font Color)

A haiku has five

Syllables, and then seven

On the second line

According to a

Study by Milner and Stein

In 2005.

They discovered that

The five-seven-five pattern

Was correlated

With most old haiku.

That means haiku have three lines.

Polysyllabic.

This correlation

Was confirmed by researchers

Who can count numbers.

To learn more, check out

My works cited I stole from

Wikipedia.

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It’ll Be Safe, I Promise!

The people aboard

The Titanic never heard

“Nah babe, just the tip.”

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Poor Guy…

I think if you want

Your kid to not be pitied

Name him “Nography.”

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This Haiku Says It All

I coughed on someone

Who got their Covid vaccine.

Why are they worried?

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Unstoppable Laughter

Middle school classroom:

All is quiet. Someone farts.

No learning today.

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Haiku: When Someone Tells Me There Are More Than 2 Genders

Ha ha ha ha ha,

Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha.

Wait, there’s more… (pause)… Ha.

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