Tag Archives: Topical

Even Imminent Death Has Standards

I like you

Like a hairdryer loves a bath,

Like an ax loves a tree,

Like GPAs love math,

Like Clintons love snitches,

Like Windows likes working,

But I still think it’s weird

Netflix likes children twerking.

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The Shape Of Water

Last year the guys in Hollywood

Passed on the script I submitted

Wherein a disabled janitor

Masturbates and gets her throat slitted.

Now the very same movie

Wins the Oscar for picture, best.

If only I’d introduced a lizard love-interest…

It’s all in the details, I guess!

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Was There Ever A President Hank? ‘Cause That Window’s Probably Closing…

Today’s the day we celebrate

The presidents half of us hate,

The two or three good ones we got

And the fifty-some we all forgot.

We do not have gifts or a meal.

There is no spirit that we feel,

But it’s a day off so we thank

George and Abe and prob’ly a Hank.

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At The Butcher

Everybody’s yelling

About Nazis, hate, and Trump

And I’m just giggling to myself

‘Cause somebody said “rump.”

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I Realized Recently That I Have Been Writing Very Short Poems With Extremely Long Titles, And I’d Just Like To Say That After Today That Won’t Happen Anymore… Probably

I’m just sayin’.

Feel free to weigh in.

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Taking Comfort Where You Can

On a day like today

You’re looking for a sign

That despite the past disasters

Everything will be fine.

Well as I sat, considering

My poem for today

I saw a candy cane, uneaten.

That makes me think I’ll be okay.

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It Works For Both Parties

A hangdog and a long-faced horse

Walked into a bar.

A few hours later they both walked home

‘Cause they didn’t own a car.

They didn’t much enjoy themselves

Nor change their sorry fate.

But it was fun compared to

Watching the GOP debate.

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