Well I live down in Texas ’cause I just can’t take
That California heat.
I go honky tonkin’ on Saturday night
With my two left feet.
My dog died last Tuesday, but I don’t mind,
I’ve got used to it.
And when it comes to tanning evenly, I had a chance
And I totally blew it!
I don’t say the F-bomb, I only say “Truck.”
I fish on the weekends and hunt for duck.
I like to ride horses, and stables I muck,
And if you don’t like women, then country songs suck.
Well this is the part in the song where I
Talk about a girl.
She’s generally half-dressed and wearin’ jewelry
Made out of mother-o’-pearl.
This is a bit of topic, but isn’t the mother of pearl
Just an oyster?
And while I sing about Jesus, I don’t sing about nuns
Or about their cloister.
I don’t say the F-bomb, I only say “Truck.”
I fish on the weekends and hunt for duck.
I like to ride horses, and stables I muck,
And if you don’t like women, then country songs suck.
Someone died of cancer,
Someone cheated on their man.
Someone rode on a choo-choo train
And ate food from a can.
I think I’m running out of
Half-decent cliches,
So Let’s sing the chorus one more time
Then we’ll go our separate ways!
I don’t say the F-bomb, I only say “Truck.”
I fish on the weekends and hunt for duck.
I like to ride horses, and stables I muck,
And if you don’t like women, then country songs suck.
The Daily Travesty 