Tag Archives: Birds

What The Flock?

The best men in America

All come from Arkansas.

They’re peacocks in the city

And turkeys in the straw.


“A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”

Is really a load of bull…

When there’s no meat on the table for dinner

Nobody’s like “But the bushes are full!”


Some say Bird Jesus is a parrot

‘Cause he always has something to say.

I personally disagree because

Bird Jesus is a bird of pray.


The woods were dark and silent

And our hunting trip did fail.

My wife said the woods were empty

But I just think the birds were male.


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Hidden In Plain Sight

I am the bird who built her nest

Beside the onramp to I5.

On the road mens’ eyes are glued

As they drive to their servitude.

Millions see me every day

But almost none will notice.

They lose the chance to look at me

Because they have somewhere to be.

I eat a bug and flap my wings

And smell fresh air and gasoline.

They think they need the Earth and Sky

And long for what they cannot buy.

They can fly to planets

I’ll never know exist,

Yet I don’t mind my being small.

I am the freest of them all.

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What Fruits The Idle Mind Hath Yielded This Morn

If birds ate at restaurants

I imagine KFC

Would be a lot more popular.

The reason might just be

That folks would eat at restaurants

Where birds would frequent less.

You might think that’s racist

But that’s my fairest guess.

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Not Your Average Blackbirds

Three grey crows

Walk into a bar

Where liberals make jokes

About how white they are.

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Good Bye ‘Til Next Year, With Artificial Birds

Rubber chicken,

Plastic duck.

The year is over;

That’s just our luck.

Ceramic peacock,

Wooden goose.

Next year is nigh

So I must vamoose. 

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Racial PSA

Some claim my speech invalid

Because my skin is pallid.

Some think you can’t be right

If your skin blends into night.

But what we all agree upon

Be we dark or pale

Is that we’re superior to

The common goose or quail.

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Read This Poem To Your Children… You’ll Thank Me Later

Seahawks run.

Hawks run slowly.

Seahawks run quickly.

Spelling matters.

Patriots suck.

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