I asked a higher being,
The all-knowing and all seeing
If I should turn my life around
Or stay the same, all safe and sound.
I saw a vision in the blue
And what it said had to be true.
I summoned my courage and focused my zen.
It said “Reply hazy. Try again.”
The creators of “My Little Pony”
Have created a product for boys.
It’s fire truck red with side-mounted guns
And seventeen makers of noise.
The company calls it “My Big-ass Horse.”
In thirty-eight countries it’s banned,
Including America, which is why
I’m moving away to Japan.