Tag Archives: Fortune Telling

But I Didn’t, So She Lied, So I Asked For My Money Back And Now I’m Absolutely Convinced That Spirits Exist

I go to a fortune teller

And give her fifteen dollars

And she pulls out a deck of cards

And makes some scary hollers

Then stares me in the eye and says

“I looked into the black

“And in about one minute

“You’ll ask for your money back.”

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And Then There Were Just 14 Balls

I asked a higher being,

The all-knowing and all seeing

If I should turn my life around

Or stay the same, all safe and sound.

I saw a vision in the blue

And what it said had to be true.

I summoned my courage and focused my zen.

It said “Reply hazy. Try again.”

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The Cards Don’t Lie

In my past life I drove a truck,
Was good-looking and funny,
And helped to build the pyramids.
I think that gypsy stole my money…

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