I wish I had a job
Like Indiana Jones
Where I could make good money
Examining human bones.
But Dr. Jones’s job
Is great in other ways
Like the fact he has no limit
To his paid vacation days.
I’m not an archaeologist
But a poet and musician,
And as I write I realize
I am in a position
To take endless vacation days
Like Dr. Jones would do.
“Travis T. and the Crystal Skull”
Coming soon to theatres near you.
Filed under Poems
The sun shines down,
Hot as myself.
I lie on a beach
With a dwarf and an elf.
My shining armor
Makes Gondor girls swoon.
It’s been a long, happy day
And it’s only noon.
Somewhere near Mordor
They’re killing the ring
And I’m just here like,
“I should be king.”
Sometimes I think
I should go help them out,
But Gollum’s got that covered,
Without a doubt.
So I sip margaritas
And smile a bit wider.
Someone calls me “sir.”
I say “please, call me Strider.”
But as the days pass
I grow somewhat bored.
When will they be finished
Reforging my sword?
Filed under Poems
A dog and his man
Hopped into a van
And drove down to the ocean.
The dog jumped in the surf
And rolled in the turf
While the man put on suntan lotion.
The man made sand castles,
The dog ate some tassles.
They both watched a volleyball game.
The dog chased rubber balls
And peed on brick walls,
And the man covertly did the same.
The man and his doggy
Wet, dirty, and soggy,
Hopped back in their automobile.
And they drove back home,
Covered in sand and loam,
With the dog in control of the wheel.
Filed under Poems
I took a trip to the great wall
On my quest to see it all.
I enjoyed myself a bit more than a little.
Stupid you might call it,
But I’m afraid I left my wallet
Somewhere between the ending and the middle.
To make up for such bad luck
I had to make a buck
To get back to my home, off in Regina.
That’s how the story goes:
To solve my money woes
I was forced to be a maid in China.
Filed under Poems
Summer is here!
It’s official this time,
And with it comes sun
And coconut drinks with lime
And pina coladas
Being caught in the rain,
And I’m stuck in this airport
And late is my plane.
Dear readers, I am sad to say
(Not actually, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this, but pretend it’s a genuine concern)
That commencing tomorrow until this Sunday
(Unless I decide to start earlier, in which case please disregard this post altogether)
I will put on hiatus these travestays
(For sake of the rhyme, spelling may have been altered)
‘Cause I’m tired, and could really use a va-
(You know what comes next).
Hope you understand, and I’ll be back in the plural of day.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
The Daily Travesty 