What if we’re all identical twins
But, when we’re born, the nurse
Gets out an ultra-mega laser
And sets it to “reverse”
And our baby brain goes back in time
To when everyone was biologically unique
And we grow up thinking we’re special
Until the Invisible Ones start to speak?
Filed under Poems
Cheerful monotone lawnmower
Murdering grass.
Doesn’t care about the Joneses.
Doesn’t kiss anyone’s ass.
Even when it’s rainy and gray
It lacks the ability to feel blue.
Why couldn’t I have been born
A gas-powered rotary blade too?
Filed under Poems
If I could be a goblin
A gremlin or a ghoul
I’d go to sleep at 3:00 AM
And never go to school.
I’d eat pancakes every day.
I’d be my own boss.
If I were a monster then
I might forget to floss.
My room would be all messy.
My hair would be a wreck.
I’d spend the morning mini-golfing
With the live-action cast of Shrek.
And then I’d murder someone
And get slaughtered by a knight.
Sure, I could be a goblin
But right now my life’s alright.
Filed under Poems
If everyone were just like me
The world would fall apart.
There’d be a passive love of science
But in practice only art.
There’d be a lot of people
Who don’t care what’s thought of them
When they’re writing crummy poems
At 10:08 PM.
There would be no magicians
(Or at least that are any good)
But everyone’s intentions
Would be perfectly understood.
If everyone were just like me
Very little would get done
But we’d be the best looking clones since Star Wars
And we’d have lots of understated fun.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 