On behalf of all the tires kicked,
The roofs slapped, the bumpers knicked,
The cars entered without consent
And sold by men with ill intent:
We confess that in the past
We used you and we moved too fast,
Judged you by color and age
And failed to pay you any wage.
Forgive we ask, and hear our pleas
To cars and trucks and SUVs,
And with your help we make this vow:
With you, we’ll go the right way now.
Filed under Poems
He’s got a triple-axle
Turbo-powered 4×4
With a 12-liter v-20
And a carbon-fiber door.
It goes zero-to-sixty
In 1.72
And has a TV in the hood,
But me… My car is blue!
Filed under Poems
They said they found the car for me,
Right in my price range.
A week later I totaled it
When I got an oil change.
Filed under Poems
I was a cock a huntin’
For a wily, free-range hen
I needed a set of wheels
That appealed to chicks, so then
I went to get a car loan
And I jumped through a hoop.
Now I’m clucking happy
Crossing the road in my chicken coupe.
Filed under Poems
You may look real classy
In your souped-up chassis
And yet prove to be asses
When you read “chassis” as chasses.
Filed under Poems
I’m the Rolls Royce of romance,
The Lamborghini of love,
The Audi of ardor
And the driver thereof.
I’m a Bentley of bravery.
You’re a Cadillac cutie.
Alas I’m the Smart Car
Of wealth, status, and beauty.
Filed under Poems
We as a species
Devote so much time
To inventing a car
That’s smarter than us;
A car that can fly,
Can swim or can jump,
Can brake automatically
And not cause a fuss.
I think we can dream
Even bigger than this,
That the auto market,
There is a way to win it,
And we must redouble
Our effort to invent
A car that implodes
When a moron gets in it.
Filed under Poems
I looked for better deals
For my monthly cell phone plan.
Some offers good, others not,
There was a terrific span.
But the ad from Virgin Mobile
Was the one that caught my eye.
It was a picture of my car;
“Read our name again and cry.”
Filed under Poems
Glass lake,
Calm… serene.
As still and blue
As has ever been.
Glass lake,
The world’s eighth wonder.
In the distance…
Is that thunder?
Thunder rolling
Ever nearer
As Glass lake
Gets ever clearer.
Thunder’s louder.
Thunder’s struck.
Turns out thunder
Is my truck.
Thunder truck
Plunges forth
From the woods
With a sound like “Vlorsh!”
Into Glass lake
Thunder zooms
The serenity is gone
Replaced by fumes.
The ripples spread
As Thunder does sink.
That wasn’t as fun
As I would I would think…
Filed under Poems
Winding mountain pass.
A deep voice talks about specs.
Gotta buy that Porsche.
There’s a friendly man
Succeeding at basic tasks.
Nope, just kidding. Lol!
That weird moment when
You’re watching some late night crap
And think “I need that.”
Filed under Poems
