Tag Archives: Dr. Seuss

Penis Envy, by Dr. Seuss

How terribly toxic it seems to me

That it must be to be a “he,”

And yet, for reasons I can’t see,

A he is what I wish to be.

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Hipster Children

I really liked green eggs and ham.

I really, really gave a damn.

Then they wrote the book and whoo!

Everybody loved it too.

Now I hate green eggs and ham,

That Dr. Seuss and Sam-I-Am.

I hate them so much I can burst,

Yet proudly say I loved them first.

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Dr Seuss Warms Up

Tail fish, head fish.

Blue fish, red fish.

Althought it’s not my wish

Son, I flushed your dead fish.

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Rethink Your Motto

Don’t come in here!

I have a hunch

That I soon

Must lose my lunch.
I had green eggs

And Ham a la carte.

“I’ll try anything once”

Is good fun, but not smart.

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Sorry for Welcoming You

Whenever that old writer’s block
Come upon my head to knock
You get a poem like yesterday’s
“You’re Welcome.”

After which poetic guilt
Covers me like the Nile’s silt
And I feel like I need to raise
Some Hell-come.

So I wrote this poem today
In my un-artistic way
To compensate for the shortness of
“You’re Welcome”

By challenging my self
(Though I didn’t do very welf)
By rhyming every ending line
With “Welcome.”

The Daily Travesty published one “poem” every day.
Tune in tomorrow for the poem,
“I’m sorry for apologizing, and this time I rhyme with ‘orange.'”

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