Tag Archives: Dr. Seuss

Dr. Seuss Writes An Adult Book

All the Whos down in Whoville

Liked warm beds a lot,

But the Grinch north of Whoville

Had but one lukewarm cot.

For a while he was fine,

Sleeping without a care

‘Til he saw Roxxi Whooter

Whose “whos” just weren’t fair.

The Grinch called to Roxxi,

“Yoohoo, you Who! Who

“Are you?” And she answered

“Just the right Who for you.”

And so the two sidled

From the town to the cranny

Where the Grinch made his home.

On his mind? Hootenanny!

At first he was nervous,

But the Grinch got it going

When what once was hidden

Was suddenly showing.

His heart grew six sizes

But that wasn’t all,

For the Grinch had Thing One

And Thing Two, neither small…

A while shortly passed.

After that, one while more…

Not a Who down in Whoville

Got much sleep, that’s for sure.

What had been merely good

Seemed to now be fantastic

Until Roxxi Who asked,

“Will that be cash or plastic?”

Thus went Grinch’s money

And the Grinch’s six sizes.

To the real Dr. Seuss:

This poet apologizes.

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If Dr. Seuss Were A Rapper

We are blacks. You are whites.

You deny our human rights.

You can shoot us while we snack.

You can shoot us in the back.

You can shoot us while we sleep

Or brand us as unusual sheep.

We have never met our dad,

But blackness isn’t only bad.

We are physically much bigger

And can call each other the first part of Ryan Higa’s Youtube channel.

Being black is sometimes great.

We get to attend Penn State

Instead of living in a dump,

All because white guys can’t jump.

If you know of current trends

We will steal your girlfriends;

You are white and we are black

And they ain’t ever coming back!

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Penis Envy, by Dr. Seuss

How terribly toxic it seems to me

That it must be to be a “he,”

And yet, for reasons I can’t see,

A he is what I wish to be.

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Hipster Children

I really liked green eggs and ham.

I really, really gave a damn.

Then they wrote the book and whoo!

Everybody loved it too.

Now I hate green eggs and ham,

That Dr. Seuss and Sam-I-Am.

I hate them so much I can burst,

Yet proudly say I loved them first.

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Dr Seuss Warms Up

Tail fish, head fish.

Blue fish, red fish.

Althought it’s not my wish

Son, I flushed your dead fish.

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Rethink Your Motto

Don’t come in here!

I have a hunch

That I soon

Must lose my lunch.
I had green eggs

And Ham a la carte.

“I’ll try anything once”

Is good fun, but not smart.

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Sorry for Welcoming You

Whenever that old writer’s block
Come upon my head to knock
You get a poem like yesterday’s
“You’re Welcome.”

After which poetic guilt
Covers me like the Nile’s silt
And I feel like I need to raise
Some Hell-come.

So I wrote this poem today
In my un-artistic way
To compensate for the shortness of
“You’re Welcome”

By challenging my self
(Though I didn’t do very welf)
By rhyming every ending line
With “Welcome.”

The Daily Travesty published one “poem” every day.
Tune in tomorrow for the poem,
“I’m sorry for apologizing, and this time I rhyme with ‘orange.'”

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