I’ve been working the suicide hotline
For the better part of a year
But when someone says
“I want to jump in front of a car”
I can’t help but say, “Oh deer!”
Tag Archives: Deer
But Will The Buck Stop There?
There’s a deer in the bathroom.
Its name, we don’t know.
We’ve decided to call her
By the name of “John Doe.”
Filed under Poems
If you say “I’d save it,” you’re lying.
If I had a million bucks
I might buy a million ducks
Who would have a million ducklings
And I could watch them grow.
If I had a million bucks
I’d load them in a million trucks
And bring them around the country
To find their perfect doe.
If I had a million bucks
I’d wear a pair of diamond chucks
And a platinum pillow
For when I need to snore.
If I had a million bucks
In cash or deer or even ducks
I wouldn’t spend it prudently.
Perhaps that’s why I’m poor.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 