Tag Archives: Deer

The Buck Stops Here

I’ve been working the suicide hotline

For the better part of a year

But when someone says

“I want to jump in front of a car”

I can’t help but say, “Oh deer!”

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But Will The Buck Stop There?

There’s a deer in the bathroom.

Its name, we don’t know.

We’ve decided to call her

By the name of “John Doe.”

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If you say “I’d save it,” you’re lying.

If I had a million bucks

I might buy a million ducks

Who would have a million ducklings

And I could watch them grow.

 

If I had a million bucks

I’d load them in a million trucks

And bring them around the country

To find their perfect doe.

 

If I had a million bucks

I’d wear a pair of diamond chucks

And a platinum pillow

For when I need to snore.

 

If I had a million bucks

In cash or deer or even ducks

I wouldn’t spend it prudently.

Perhaps that’s why I’m poor.

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