Tag Archives: Ducks

Plot Twist: They’re Canadian

My ducks were quacking noisily,

Apparently upset.

That’s as close to “In a row”

As my ducks ever get.

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Nature Is A Dick (Plus An Optimistic Death Message?)

I asked a skunk

“Are you a skunk?”

It didn’t answer me.

I asked a duck

To try my luck

But answer not did he.

I asked a bear

“Are you a bear?”

And at least I got an answer.

Sure, it killed me

In eight seconds.

On the bright side, hey! No cancer!

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If I Were A Duck

I think poetic ducks

Have a fondness for fresh cumin

Since that enables many jokes

Of mallards shouting “human!”

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If you say “I’d save it,” you’re lying.

If I had a million bucks

I might buy a million ducks

Who would have a million ducklings

And I could watch them grow.

 

If I had a million bucks

I’d load them in a million trucks

And bring them around the country

To find their perfect doe.

 

If I had a million bucks

I’d wear a pair of diamond chucks

And a platinum pillow

For when I need to snore.

 

If I had a million bucks

In cash or deer or even ducks

I wouldn’t spend it prudently.

Perhaps that’s why I’m poor.

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