A duck walked up to a lemonade stand
And asked “Do you have any grapes?”
The lemonade seller shot dead the duck feller
Which proves not all heroes wear capes.
Tag Archives: Ducks
Plot Twist: They’re Canadian
My ducks were quacking noisily,
Apparently upset.
That’s as close to “In a row”
As my ducks ever get.
Filed under Poems
Nature Is A Dick (Plus An Optimistic Death Message?)
I asked a skunk
“Are you a skunk?”
It didn’t answer me.
I asked a duck
To try my luck
But answer not did he.
I asked a bear
“Are you a bear?”
And at least I got an answer.
Sure, it killed me
In eight seconds.
On the bright side, hey! No cancer!
Filed under Poems
If you say “I’d save it,” you’re lying.
If I had a million bucks
I might buy a million ducks
Who would have a million ducklings
And I could watch them grow.
If I had a million bucks
I’d load them in a million trucks
And bring them around the country
To find their perfect doe.
If I had a million bucks
I’d wear a pair of diamond chucks
And a platinum pillow
For when I need to snore.
If I had a million bucks
In cash or deer or even ducks
I wouldn’t spend it prudently.
Perhaps that’s why I’m poor.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 