When you are a poetic bard
Having a social life is hard
Because you may be out at night
But need to do a daily write.
Hypothetical as this may sound
This is where I, this night, am found.
When you read other brief poems by me
Know that I’m healthy socially.
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I gaze in awe at the millions
Who march to show their views.
I am there in person,
Not merely watching the news.
The signs are wise and witty
And camaraderie is merry
But I’m getting sick of idling
As I drive to the library…
Filed under Poems
I have to go to the bathroom,
But I don’t want to leave my bed,
And so I will do neither
And write this poem instead.
Filed under Poems
5: Spider Man
Well, yes, he is a hero.
That is good and well,
But this is spidey’s evil twin,
And like spiders, he’s scary as hell!
4: The Licenser
The Licenser is an insidious one.
He makes you wait in line.
He restricts your access to cars and guns
And he also makes you wait in line.
(Did I mention the waiting in line thing)?
3: The Pizza Delivery Boy Killer
No, he doesn’t kill delivery boys.
He eviller than that.
He poisons the pizzas you order in
With carbohydrates and saturated fat.
2: The Baby
Loud, obnoxious, and stinky,
It’s a villain with a potent defense:
You cannot kill a baby.
That’s just common courtesy. Such is the pretense.
And Finally:
1: The Internet
It’s said that most Americans
Are on the web 2.5 hours a day.
That’s 9.6 percent of your life.
Let me put it this way:
If you live to be one hundred years old,
You’ll only live to be 90.
Don’t believe me? Well look at your screen.
You’re on the internet, and it’s kicking your hiney.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 