Tag Archives: Gratitude

Tears of a Silver Medalist

We who breathe are oft inclined

To be of less than perfect mind

And, in such state, to raise a fuss

About how fortune frowns on us

For we have all our limbs and eyes,

Have yet to meet a grim demise,

Have bellies full and blankets warm

And lives absent from grievous harm,

Have water fresh on every street

And fertile earth beneath our feet.

We fear no predatory foe,

And yet our hearts are filled with woe;

We see our neighbor’s joy and sigh,

“They have a bit more stuff than I…”

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Thanks for Your Support (and Exclusive Offers)

I dedicate today’s poem

To all my followers and fans.

All of you are really very splendid.

You’re the remarkable few

On the internet who

Can read this stuff without being offended.

Without the lot of you

I’d have to read my own haiku

Which is something I’d probably despise,

And thanks to a special pair

Who comment here and there

My penis is sixteen times its original size.

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Thanks People!

This poem’s for the people

Who work lousy hours

Slaving away

For the “that be”-ing powers.
These rhymes are for tellers

And checkers and chaps

Who wear store-logo polos

And maybe ball caps.
This verse is for plumbers

And sellers of pot.

Thanks for doing your thing

So that I need not.

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A Thanksgiving Poem (Nice)

I stubbed my toe
And broke my nail.
I tried a new sport
And I epically failed.
I hit on a girl
And was soundly rejected.
My movie was grainy,
And was poorly projected.

My stomach’s upset
From that beanie burrito,
And I’m scratching a bite
From an angry mosquito.
I’m too sickly to go
For a night on the town,
And to top it all off,
My house just burned down!

But in all of this anguish
I feel pretty neat,
‘Cause there are sports I can play
With my two healthy feet.
I speak freely to women
And also with men,
And I can watch the same movie
Again and again.

There’s so much food to eat
Even bugs get their fill,
And maybe I’ll build
My new house on a hill.
My life was disturbed
By these happenings fateful,
But life’s what you choose,
And I choose to be grateful.

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