Tag Archives: Thanksgiving

Feel Free To Replace “Bauer” With That One… Special Person

‘Twas the day before Thanksgiving

And all of the Bauers

Were being ungrateful

For 24 hours

For tomorrow they knew

They must put on a smile

And pretend to be happy,

At least for a while.

Then out of the sun

Did a meteor fall

And struck down the Bauers

And flattened them all.

On Thanksgiving that followed

This disaster from God

Everyone else was happy,

Which no one found odd…

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Obligatory Thanksgiving Poem

Today’s the day we give our thanks

To those who made the lending banks

Who’ll help us spend the day to come

By buying stuff until we’re numb.

We’ll also eat some spuds and birds

As we exchange our thankful words,

Then look outside and see the sweet

Bright lights of Christmas across the street.

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Oh, Also My Fans, Whether Or Not They Give Me Money

Today we express gratitude

For all that we enjoy.

I’m grateful I can eat a lot

Of meat instead of soy,

That I’m allowed to shoot a turkey

But can buy one at a store,

And for fuzzy fleece blankets.

That’s what I’m thankful for!

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…Which Is In 52 Minutes Because Life

I’m grateful for my blessings.

I’m thankful for my friends.

My family’s a wellspring

Through which all my trouble ends.

I’ve so much joy I’ll lend it out

To those who need to borrow,

But I won’t express my gratitude;

I’m saving it for tomorrow.

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Obligatory Thanksgiving Poem XIVII

I’m thankful for my family

And to you, my faithful fan.

Thanks to you I made this poem

Very short, because I can.

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I’m Thankful for Obligatory Topics

I’m thankful that the turkey
On my table is dead
And that at ten A.M
I can write poems in bed.

I’m thankful that if my poem
On Thanksgiving isn’t great
I won’t be washed away
By a necrotic wave of hate.

I’m thankful that necrotic waves
Are very rare occurrences
And that I’ve found employment
Selling life and health assurances.

I’m thankful to be dealt a hand
Of aces. Just the same
I’m glad I’ve got the self-control
To just avoid the game.

I’m thankful for soft blankets,
The ability to play,
And Naoko Takeuchi,
But not “Fifty Shades of Grey.”

Finally, I’m thankful for
My readers (that means you)!
Happy Thanksgiving from the States,
And don’t forget to chew.

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A Thanksgiving Poem (Naughty)

This Thanksgiving we’re giving
A meet and greet dinner,
Where new friends and old
Come to get much un-thinner.

Some guests shamble in,
Having fasted for hours,
Bearing pot-lucky food
And some freshly bought flowers.

A few hours later
We’ve chatted our chat,
So the guests head for home,
And all that is that.

Thanksgiving was given,
And food has been eaten,
And old friends and new
Have farewelled and been greeten.

What more could I want?
I am so truly blessed.
Ooh looky, half off
That new Gucci vest!

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