Tag Archives: Envy

Tears of a Silver Medalist

We who breathe are oft inclined

To be of less than perfect mind

And, in such state, to raise a fuss

About how fortune frowns on us

For we have all our limbs and eyes,

Have yet to meet a grim demise,

Have bellies full and blankets warm

And lives absent from grievous harm,

Have water fresh on every street

And fertile earth beneath our feet.

We fear no predatory foe,

And yet our hearts are filled with woe;

We see our neighbor’s joy and sigh,

“They have a bit more stuff than I…”

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From The Assistant Captain

I’m very proud if my teammate, Ted

Who always… ALWAYS… Gets out of bed.

You really proud of my teammate, Ben,

Who almosy always gets a few out of ten.

I’m really proud of my teammate Jon,

Who really has improved a ton.

But I’m noy proud of my teammate Rick.

Our MVP… What a dick!

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Two Hairy Poems

I can curl your locks,
Give you mohawks,
A buzz cut, bowl, or mullet.
But when I see your hair
What I really care
To do is grab and pull it.

Though long and lustrous
Is your hair
I have no envy.
I just don’t care.
I am not jealous
Of your locks,
But I dearly wish
I had your buttocks.

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