Tag Archives: Greed

On Monetization (For A Limited Time, You Can See This Poem’s Secret Full Title For Just $1.99 When You Like And Subscribe)!

I’ll tell you a tale of a terror

Of a fellow whose job starts with “C”.

He sold silly stuff, but it wasn’t enough

To make “millionaire” start with a “B”.

So it would seem that he dreamed up a scheme

Where whenever one wanted to win

They could wait for an hour to double their power

Or just pay not to wait to begin.

From there they’d enable the financially stable

To get, just a bit at a time,

A pack of fine hats that add one to your stats

For eleventy-one gems and a dime.

I’m not sure which curse is objectively worse:

The fact that they dreamed up this plan

Or that players will buy ‘til the debt hits their eye

For a chance at a doodad in tan.

And yet player one wants a gun that’s more fun

And mom’s credit card’s been pre-approved…

Or how about trying to stop all our buying

Until C-level guy gets removed?

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Jesus Christ, Millennial

I want a pet Tyranosaurus

And a 10,000 square-foot house.

I want a 90-inch computer

And a solid platinum mouse.

I want the watch that Elvis wore

And a phone that does my dishes

But I can only walk on water

And play with loaves and fishes.

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