I never thought I’d be happy
To lose the shirt off my back,
To run out of money, be told I’m not funny,
And become some animal’s snack.
I’d never thought I’d be happy
To have that stuff happen to me
And as it turns out they still haven’t
So I guess life is going as expected.
Filed under Poems
My friends flanked me
And asked
In a way which I’ll say
Was stereophonic
“What’s a funny example
Of a time
When crap happened
That was ironic?”
I thought for a bit
When suddenly
An epiphany whiffed at me
Through the mounting tension.
I said “well one time
“People used words
“Expressing something contrary
To their literal intention.”
Filed under Poems
I met some illiterate mutes
Who knew how the universe works,
But they wouldn’t tell me or write it down.
What a bunch of jerks!
Filed under Poems
I tried to iron my shirt today
Expecting humor all the way,
I didn’t laugh. That’s how life goes:
‘Twas less ironic than I supposed.
Filed under Poems
“Liar, liar, pants on fire”
Was a taunt I often heard
From kids at school, and parents too
And even a parrot bird.*
So I thought I’d test the theory,
So I lied for 30 days.
Not once in that deceitful month
Did my pants catch in a blaze.
So I look now at the irony
Of a saying people try
To use to discourage dishonesty
Is, in itself, a lie.
Or maybe I’m overthinking again.
* This is a lie. I have never heard a parrot say “liar, liar, pants on fire.”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 