Tag Archives: Misunderstanding

Prelude to Sporking, If Ya Know What I Mean…

I’m not the kind to boast too much

But I attract those of feminine form.

I now propose a toast to such

In the hope such becomes the new norm.

There’ve been times in my past when companions are sparse,

Even times when there haven’t been any

But if one commits some subtle financial farce

A billfold makes none into many.

Never before have I seen such excitement

Or felt less akin to a dunce

When they paid for my patented eating utensil

Which is fork and spoon both, but at once!

Thus is my secret to wooing the broads.

Whoever would even have thought

That inventing the spork would improve my odds

Of females considering me hot?

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Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood

If you think saying “Spongebob’s gay”

Will make the haters go away

Then I am most inclined to say

You’re stupid and you’re wrong.

If you think that posting signs

And standing tall in protest lines

Will make the “bads” turn into “fines”

I’ll sing a different song.

If you think that making noise

About police and childrens’ toys

And how some girls are really boys

Is going to change a heart

Then I will proudly bear the news:

Insulting those with different views

Won’t stop the “other people” blues,

But listening? There’s a start!

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Meanwhile, At Netflix Headquarters…

In Japan they make cartoons

With people named Jojo or Light…

And even though they’re Japanese

The characters are all white…

But when we film an adaptation

Fans of the original are mad

Because we only hired white actors

And, apparently, that’s bad?

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Constellations

On evenings free of clouds and light

One can look upon the sky,

On twinkling stars and silent night

And think of tales the stars belie.

You’ll see Orion, proud and strong,

Bears and dippers, great and small,

A Zodiac twelve members strong,

And not a truth among them all!

Of what are constellations made?

Nature’s lines drawn by the dead,

Sparkling points on Heaven sprayed

And named by man for men misled.

Wives read horoscopes ’til late

As Cygnus and Aquila gleam.

The constellations of their fate

Are closer than they first may seem.

The stars above are heroes past

To marvel at by absent sun,

But we are heroes born at last,

You and I and everyone.

Look not to the stars for love

Or what the future mayhap hide.

Dreams come not from up above

But from the stars we are inside.

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Individuality, But At What Caust?

A black guy names his kid J’Kwon

And no one bats an eye.

In Florida kids are named X-wing

And no one asks them why.

I choose a name like this

For the son I fathered

But when I say “My son, Z’Kyle”

The jews get hot and bothered…

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🍆👸? 👎,ℹ️🌈!

I met a girl in cooking class

When I was seventeen.

She texted “Wanna have some fun?”

I asked “What do you mean?”

She sent me some emojis

Of an eggplant and a queen.

I replied “Thanks for the offer

“But I’m out of aubergine.”

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Wrong

A hero stood and spoke the truth,

Was called unwise, uncool, uncouth,

Was thrown out by the ruling men

But in the streets he spoke again.

His home was burned, his name was mocked,

His faith was tested, his world was rocked.

He was left penniless in shame

But when he spoke, he spoke the same.

He watched as liars took control,

Saw how untruths extract their toll.

The Earth collapsed beneath a word,

While the truth was spoken, yet unheard.

Left with no ground to stand upon,

When everything he loved was gone,

The Earth was ash, but still he stood;

He was the only one who would.

But from the ash a flower grew,

A cloud allowed the sunshine through,

A bird sang out a cheerful song

And the hero saw that he was wrong:

Life was good, so broken-hearted

The hero silently departed.

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This Problem Doesn’t Happen For Board Game Dates

I asked her out to eat with me

At Chez Insertnamehere.

It was a place with candlelight

And very expensive beer.

After our romantic dinner

Conversation hit a lull.

She said “Let’s have dinner again,”

But, alas, I was already full.

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When You Break Up / Lines In A Poem / So It Looks Longer / Than It Really / Is

Warlords might not be

The sensitive type,

Not ones to use shampoo

Or lotions,

But they’re a lot better

Than pacifists

Who are racist

Against certain oceans.

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On The General Nature Of Material Things

In this world of cats and dogs,

Of black and white, of bricks and logs,

It seems it nature’s choice we trust

The things which most resemble us,

Because of nature or our minds,

We oft call “evil” other kinds

Of creatures, colors, or supplies;

To do this I don’t think is wise.

If dogs chase cats or cats scratch dogs,

If we stack bricks or burn some logs

We do these things not out of spite

But merely ’cause it feels right.

So are we, by our nature, wrong

To do as we’ve done all along

Merely since a precious few

Feel malice as these things they do?

Shall we, must we, can we insist

That the building and the chase desist?

Are we all not good human beings

But, one and all, [Insert here]-ist fiends?

I like to think what harm we do

Is in pursuit of what is true,

And if we don’t find verity

We fail with true sincerity.

Impose not evil on the Earth

For no more than being given birth

And if another’s sin you see

Know the sinner is human like you and me.

Perhaps through this we’ll forget war,

We’ll never suffer anymore.

More likely we’ll still scratch and bite

But, mindfully, still smile despite.

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