He offers a sideways glance.
She says “I have a boyfriend.”
Because of the the few, so many
Potential friendships this way end.
Tag Archives: Men and Women
I Like An Easy Read
I’ve discovered I’m a psychic.
It’s really pretty slick!
If found out when my lover
Thought “I hope he’s not psychic.”
Well that relationship
Ended on an ironic note
When I shouted “ha ha, I am!”
And that was all she wrote…
Being a psychic in the dating pool
Is fun, to say the least.
I know which gal’s have hearts of gold
And which have infected yeast.
Now the mind of every man
Is a delightfully simple thing,
Like Indiana Jones
And the temple of “do I buy a ring?”
A woman’s mind is more complex
Like the tale of War and Peace
But from an eagle’s point of view
And written in Taiwanese.
I’ve gotten used to psychic life
And find a girl I may,
But when it comes to reading minds
I think I’m kinda gay.
Filed under Poems
Men’s Studies
I want to understand people.
I want them to make sense,
But I don’t like psychology.
I took women’s studies classes.
I took men’s studies too,
But those ones they called “history.”
Filed under Poems
Love is:
In the woman’s mind:
Love begins as a dove:
It is quiet, sublime, and simple.
Love evolves.
It becomes an eagle:
It must be strong to survive, and often it becomes vicious.
Then love is the space shuttle:
There is no limit to where it can fly, and you will see new places the rest of your days.
In the man’s mind:
Love begin as a rooster in the suburbs:
It is noisy, the main point is cock, and it alienates you from your friends.
Love evolves, sort of like a Pokemon.
It becomes a Chinese Restaurant:
Basically, cock is still being put in mouths, but you’re not sure if this is what you ordered.
And remember, love is like flatulence:
If you have to force it, it’s probably crap.
Filed under Poems
He sees, She sees
I see blue, she sees puce.
I see green, she sees chartreuse.
I see yellow, she sees sunrise.
Ah, how I wonder what’s wrong with her eyes.
I see black, she sees monochrome.
I see white, she sees moonstone.
I see red, she sees vermillion.
I see purple, she agrees, and I say “Thanks a million.”
I see gold, she sees wedding ring.
I see silver, she sees bumblebee wing.
I see brown, she sees a dark tan.
So to paint your house orange, you should hire a man.
The Daily Travesty 