Tag Archives: Feminism

We Won… But At What Cost?

The “New World Order” people

And Illuminati really

Missed the point; That making people

Into sheep is kinda silly.

After all, who wants to conquer

A bunch of people dumb enough

To fall for propaganda

As insane as modern stuff?

The Vikings and the Mongols

Had at least old-fashioned pride,

And made sure that their detractors

Fought in wars and mostly died.

But today, old-fashioned values

Like rape and pillage have degraded

To where “rape” means being male

And “pillage” means “medicated.”

And so if all the people

That conspiracies suggest

Cancel all the good among us

And then rule o’er all the rest

I wish them much good fortune

When their conquest is complete.

They’ll starve in perfect harmony

While the cancelled grill their meat.

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What A Catch!

She doesn’t play mind games.

She doesn’t hate pets.

These days that’s quite close to as good as it gets.

She isn’t ugly.

She isn’t mean.

She’s the not-baddest person that I’ve ever seen.

She has other friends.

She gets off the couch.

Her spirit animal is not Oscar the Grouch.

She’s not into drama.

She’s not a KGB spy.

My only concern is that “she” is a guy.

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Why Fictional Japan Is Objectively The Best Country

On TV, the blue-haired girl

Is innocent and kind.

She cooks and cleans and loves you

For your heart, not your behind.

She’s fearful, but she conquers it;

Was blind, but now she sees.

In real life, the blue-haired girl

Thinks men are a disease.

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When You’re A Cop, She Knows A Lawyer, And #MeToo Is Trending

I looked at her chest

And she called me rude

Though she walked down the street

Ninety-eight percent nude.

Yes, she was a burglar

But she had a vag

So I saved myself trouble

And turned in my badge.

I wanted to uphold

The laws of the land

But somewhere the culture

Got quite out of hand.

Had I filmed the occasion

‘Twould be legal, but hey!

Now I play “Call Of Duty”

And tell folks I’m gay.

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This Is Why Blueberry And Strawberry Yogurt Are Popular

Men want to talk about grape yogurt.

Women want to talk about patriarchy.

Men like talking about grape culture.

Feminists dislike the letter “G.”

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Fairy Yales

Once upon a time

There was a tiny little rock

Who was the world’s preeminent scholar

On the early works of Bach.

The little rock was erudite

Yet its career went South

On account of probably white people

And, also, its lack of mouth.

——————————————————–

Once upon a time

A woman majored in STEM

And made millions teaching women

The ways that men were bad to them.

She could have been an engineer

And done science and stuff

But instead she told the patriarchs

She wasn’t paid enough.

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The Patriarch’s Lament

Fellow men, we gaze upon

A rather dismal breaking dawn,

The starting of a pinkish hour

Where sticks and stones have lost their power,

Where words can harm and looks can kill

And love is just “Netflix and Chill.”

Her lips that once you moved to kiss

Now move to bear you false witness.

That bed you’ve long longed to be in

Belongs to the procrustean.

The Goddess idol whom you praised

Commands her temple to be razed.

The deed is done, the seed is sown:

Take comfort in the silicone!

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When All The Good Men Are 5’11”

If a man makes 40k

And his girl makes 10

She’ll happily be his Barbie

And he will be her Ken.

If a man makes 40k

And his girl makes 20

She will call him Sugarplum

And he will call her Honey.

If a man makes 40k

And his girl makes thirty

You can guarantee that they’ll

Be eager to talk dirty.

If a man makes 40k

And she makes 41

Shame on her for dating down!

Their relationship is done.

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Why Die For Your Country When You Can Respect Children?

Though you think of cops and firemen

Or a soldier or marine,

There are men in much more danger

Doing work that’s rarely seen.

I don’t mean high-rise window washers

Or test pilots, you fools!

I speak of male teachers

At elementary schools.

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Sailing Is Patriarchy

I was on a sailboat

With a democrat.

The water got bumpy;

She went overboard like that!

I threw her a rope to grab

And noticed she was frowning,

Probably offended

That I attacked her drowning.

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