Tag Archives: Chickens

But Why?

The road told the rooster

“You look like a hen.”

The rooster killed the road’s family

And it never crossed the chicken again.

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Four Stanzas, One Punchline, Infinite Regrets (The Chicken Poems Return)

For every chicken sandwich

You eat throughout your life

A hen loses her husband

Or a rooster’s sans his wife.

Are you emotionally mature enough

As down the hatch she goes

To tell the rooster where’s his wife

And that he doesn’t have any toes?

Are you prepared to face the widow

As on her man you chew,

To look her in her beady eyes

And say “no cock for you!”

For every chicken sandwich

A family is dead.

Tune in for tomorrow’s poem

About the horrors of eating bread!

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Ode to Awesome Chickens (Guest Post from SB”CAG”BPCTWNMYB(P)

From Helen:

My chickens make me breakfast.

They’re the best that pets can get.

Eggs fried, poached, or scrambled,

And even omelette.

I object to killing chickens!

That’s simply just not right.

They give us free-range organic eggs

And even put themselves to bed at night.

Wyandots and Orpingtons,

Barred Rock, Black Copper Marans too.

If you sup on glorious chickens,

There’s something wrong with you!

My rooster calls out to his hens

for succulent treats like corn.

He guards against sneak hawk attacks

And even wakes me up in the morn.

Oh Eggs of many colors

My chickens lay for me.

Pink and blue and brown eggs

And even eggs of green.

My chicken each have fancy names

Miranda, Romona, and Stormy Blue.

You want to eat my pet chickens?

How could you! Shame on you!

If poultry poetry ain’t your thing,

I ask, Please don’t blame me.

All I did was complain about poultrycide,

Hence this bad poetry contest, You see?

Thanks Helen!

Do you think chickens are great and deserve to be recognized positively via the medium of mediocre poetry? Enter the Semi-Bicentennial “Chickens Are Good” Bad Poetry Contest That Won’t Make You Bald (Probably)!


Get the details here:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/thedailytravesty.com/2017/02/25/announcing-the-semi-bicentennial-chickens-are-good-bad-poetry-contest-that-will-not-make-you-bald-probably/amp/

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Chicken Couplets (Guest Poem from S-BC”CAG”BPCTWMYB[P])

By Katy:
Chickens are so much maligned,

But if you look I think you’ll find

That if a chicken lays an egg or two,
That’s much more work than me or you. 
When you die it’s with a selfish craze,

But a chicken gives back with a ginger glaze!

And so to chickens you should be kind,
For they seem most helpful to my small mind. 
Thanks Katy!

Do you think chickens are great and deserve to be recognized positively via the medium of mediocre poetry? Enter the Semi-Bicentennial “Chickens Are Good” Bad Poetry Contest That Won’t Make You Bald (Probably)!

Get the details here:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/thedailytravesty.com/2017/02/25/announcing-the-semi-bicentennial-chickens-are-good-bad-poetry-contest-that-will-not-make-you-bald-probably/amp/

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Guest Poem from the Semi-Bicentennial “Chickens Are Good” Bad Poetry Contest That Will Not Make You Bald (Probably)

From Bill:
Chickens are oviparous,

I’m sure you realize.

They generously produce for us,

Eggs of every size.

These eggs do nourish some of us,

and for that we are thankful.

(Others they make malodorous,

but we do forgive your stank, Phil.)

Chickens have earned their place in heaven,

don’t you realize?

With a little flour and leaven,

you get “Chicken Surprise!”

Thanks Bill!
Want your bad poetry featured on the blog for the world to silently mock? Get the details here!

https://thedailytravesty.com/2017/02/25/announcing-the-semi-bicentennial-chickens-are-good-bad-poetry-contest-that-will-not-make-you-bald-probably/

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Announcing the Semi-Bicentennial “Chickens Are Good” Bad Poetry Contest That Will Not Make You Bald (Probably)

Today I socialized again.

It’s becoming a bad habit…

Anyway, my friend and reader said

My opinion towards chickens is “stab it.”

I’ve written about chickens for dinner

And, yesterday, going to Hell.

All in all my poems about chickens

Do not treat them very well.

I wanted to amend my cruelty

Towards our egg-laying kin

And so I announce a contest

That upon this fine day shall begin!

Now a good contest must have a theme

And should recur on an oft-scheduled basis

And feature many a viewpoint

And not force the victor into cryogenic stasis.

My contest achieves all of these goals

And here’s what the contest is called:

The Semi-Bicentennial “Chickens Are Good”

Bad Poetry Contest That Will Not Make You Bald (Probably).

I’m seeking submissions from readers,

From other poets, artists, and guests

On the topic of the glories of chickens

And of a quality that won’t get an A on tests.

So comment your dubious poetry

About the glory of hens and of cocks.

Just comment them on this announcement

And just make sure that none of them rocks.

I look forward to reading your poems

And the chickens most likely do not

Because they’re illiterate morons.

(Now’s your chance to prove that they’re not)!

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My Religious Beliefs

“Chickens don’t believe in God

“So chickens go to Hell.”

That’s what Grandma told me

And so far it’s served me well.

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