Tag Archives: Frustration

I Started Writing This Poem In Real Time As We Tried To Watch A Movie, And ai Committed Way Too Hard To The Gimmick…

Portable DVD player

Why are you useless?

You should make life easier

But instead cause us stress.

I wish I could shoot you

In the face with a gun

But you don’t even have a face…

Another reason you’re no fun.

I’m writing this ode to you

As a professional IT person

Tries to make you work at all

Yet the situation does still worsen.

You are naughty, bad, and stupid

And a big mean jerk

But I’d rescind those judgements

If you’d just freakin’ work.

A part of me is fearful now

This poem will not end

Because you are our tech enemy

And not our entertainment friend.

Don’t you see the pain you’re causing

Readers of this blog?

All this to watch a DVD…

What a somber slog.

I would skip ahead in time

To tell you how this ends

But if we made a graph of progress

And analyzed the line of trends

I think the universe would end

In heat death before long

So just sing this poem over and over

Like the 99 bottles of beer song.

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X-1 Teachers

If two trains depart at identical hours

Traveling towards one another

On parallel tracks, both carrying snacks

For the opposite engineer’s mother

When first they pass one another

At speeds varying by a factor of 5

How long will it take before students

Make their teacher no longer alive?

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A Little-Known Side Benefit Of Stairs

Somewhere between the lobby

And my destination floor

The elevator chose

Not to move up anymore.

Perhaps the lift malfunctioned

When the console met my fists

But hey, no more classic rock

With jazzy little twists!

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Shouldn’t We Be Celebrating Veteran’s Day By Now?

On the first day of Christmas

My true love gave to me

A holiday that lasted less than two months

That I didn’t have to hear or see.

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Love In The Time Of #YesAllWomen

He offers a sideways glance.

She says “I have a boyfriend.”

Because of the the few, so many

Potential friendships this way end.

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A Good Year… So Far

I’ve exercised every day so far!

I’ve been a better lay so far!

I’ve eaten healthy food so far!

I haven’t even been rude so far!

I’ve been cheerful, smart, and nice so far,

And only been driven to kill some jerk who’s not as fit, healthy, sexy, and friendly as me twice…

So far.

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The Jigsaw Puzzle

We found the corners.

We built the edge.

We stuck some ins to some outs,

Then we jumped off a ledge.

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Before Showers

Tepid waters of my bath

Invoke in me a primal wrath,

But as I move to strike them down

I’m shown to be a simple clown,
For where I strike, the water bends.

This is where my childhood ends,

For no more baths shall I take.

Instead, I go swimming in a lake.

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Four hours later…

Grunt and growl,
Hoot and howl:
These sounds are inspired
By the immovable bowel.

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Just One of Those

Pale morning sun
Rises softly in the East.
Monday again. F***.

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