Tag Archives: Santa

Steal From The Naughty, Give To His Homies

If Santa were a rapper,

He’d also be a pirate.

Here’s the evidence for how I know:

Rappers greet each other

By saying “yo” most often,

So rapper/pirate Santa’d say “yo ho ho!”

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Rabble Trousers

As my pants fell beneath my knees
In math class with Mrs. Roz
I made a very fervent wish
To become Santa Claus.

“I swear it was an accident!”
I called as I was dismissed.
Oh how I envied Santa Claus
And the fact he did not exist.

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Updating the Fire Code

Yellow tape around the mound
That used to be a house.
Not a creature stirs there anymore,
Not even my pet mouse.

I know it was an accident,
But it must not happen anymore.
I move to outlaw chimney climbing.
Santa will have to use the door.

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