Tag Archives: Sloth

Snow Days

Today I tried to do nothing.

I stayed in bed all day.

I didn’t eat or drink or poop

Or breathe or sweat or pray.

I avoided salivating 

And I didn’t leave my room.

I didn’t shower so my odor

Now surrounds me in a plume.

I didn’t read or watch TV.

I didn’t surf the net.

I did not look out the window

And I didn’t feed my pet.

I neglected all life’s naggings

And engaged in nary a vice

And if tomorrow’s snowy also,

Well, I just might do it twice!

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Home and the Heart

I read yesterday

That to find love you must

Do what you like doing

And in destiny trust.

I read that by living

As you naturally would

Love will find you

(Or at least it should).

So I lie in my boxers,

Asleep on my couch,

With a paused Halo 4

Shining light on my slouch.

I dream lovely dreams

Of her warmth on my skin,

And I wait for the day

Some cute burglar breaks in.

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Chess as a Model of Social Justice, or Why I’m a Stay-at-home Pawn

Some are born as Queens or Kings.

Some are born as other things.

But be you bishop, rook, or knight,

At least you’re not a pawn. Am I right?

And if, unluckily, you are a pawn

You’d best just keep on keeping on.

You’ll reach a spot where life treats you fair.

(Or, more likely, you’ll get murdered on your way there).

And if you reach that special place,

A queen or rook you may replace,

Where you are but some king’s conquest

Or else called “castle,” despite your protest.

Or perhaps you’re promoted to a knight

And never again can you move quite right.

You could be a bishop, those stoic blokes

And victims of off-color  jokes.

Only one can be the king,

The chosen one, or another such thing.

So if you’re a pawn, your best bet

Is to stay still in the corner with no regret.

The happiest piece, the jolliest lord

Of the 64-square light and dark colored board

Is the piece that stays safe at home.

That’s why I no longer roam.

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