Tag Archives: Nothing

The NO-bel Prize

I think we need a Nobel Prize

For folks who do not stand out.

If you’ve never heard of someone

Then they would deserve this handout.

We’d make a list of everyone

Who’ve done anything in their life

Then send somebody not on that list

A small prize, like a knife.

That winner would not be informed

Of the significance of the prize,

Nor would the media or public

Of the award be told likewise.

The laureate would carry on

Not doing much at all.

I think that merits an award

But, hey, that’s just my call.

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First, Do No Harm

Today I’ve done nothing

But sit on my butt.

I woke up, closed the blinds,

Checked the door (locked and shut)

Then reveled for hours

Of sedentary bliss

Never once caring

About what I might miss.

And as nothing happened

For a fair bit of time

I had no new ideas

And committed no crime,

Consumed no nutrition

And didn’t make noise,

And somehow refrained

From molesting young boys.

I didn’t feel sadness,

Nor did I have fun

So for sunday the score is:

Catholics: 0, Poet: 1

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Snow Days

Today I tried to do nothing.

I stayed in bed all day.

I didn’t eat or drink or poop

Or breathe or sweat or pray.

I avoided salivating 

And I didn’t leave my room.

I didn’t shower so my odor

Now surrounds me in a plume.

I didn’t read or watch TV.

I didn’t surf the net.

I did not look out the window

And I didn’t feed my pet.

I neglected all life’s naggings

And engaged in nary a vice

And if tomorrow’s snowy also,

Well, I just might do it twice!

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