Tag Archives: westerns

How The West Was Won

There was a guy with short, dark hair

Who lived in the middle of nowhere.

Then a bad guy came to town

And some anarchy went down.

The guy was told about the event

So he spurred his horse and off he went

To meet the jerk who scared the meek

And also the one girl who gets to speak.

A lot of folks will die, of course,

While riding nowhere on a horse.

There will be a fateful fight

Before guy rides off into the light.

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Then After a Twist Of Fate No One Could See Coming…

If your story’s just beginning

But your ideas have run out

There’s no need for disappointment 

So you can quit your silly pout.

All the greatest stories

Lose their steam before the end

And that’s why we continue

The “something lucky happened” trend.

It’s why stormtroopers can’t hit a barn

And main characters don’t get shivved.

Executions are delayed for a monologue

And Harry’s the boy who lived.

It’s why Ringwraith’s can sense the ring

From half a world away

But not when hobbits hold it

With a tree stump in the way.

Heroes outrun explosions

While the villain merely dies.

The white hats still draw faster

Despite the sunlight in their eyes.

So if you want a writing tip

I’ll give you one to keep:

As long as sh*t works out in the end

The fans will lose no sleep.

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Guest Poem – The Duel at High Noon



The crowd draws in its breath,

Watching the tournament of death

On the green grass of Saskatoon

At the dread hour of noon.

(High noon.)

That’s right, it was time for the duel;

The two men had eaten their gruel

And were ready to fight

If not to the death than at least until night.

(Well, the dark is scary!)

In the heat of the day,

An golden eagle flew away

Screeching his terror and fright,

While the gunsmoke was still light….

(There were no guns.  Don’t fret.)

The man they called Tiger teed off

With a birdie which no would did scoff,

But a man they called Harrington,

An Irish lad all the way from Paddington.

(Which is in England, but rhymed. More or less.)

The day became hot and they needed a drink,

So suspended their duel with a clink

As their caddies put the clubs away

To cool off for later that day.

(Golf is very hard work.)

But with a few more shots

And sand traps in spots,

The intrepid duelers prevailed,

But with results were not availed.

(It takes time to tally golf scores!)

(ANTICIPATION! Or maybe you don’t care….)

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