Tag Archives: Harry Potter

You’re A Grand Wizard Harry

If all white people are racists

And support the KKK

It makes me see Hagrid

In an entirely new way.

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Quidditch

I met a girl

I thought was nice.

Turns out she was a witch.

She said that I

Was quite a catch.

‘Tis the life of a golden snitch.

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Raindrop Responds To DeMarco’s Invitation

The life called “thug”

Is not for me.

I like a sit-down

When I pee.

I do not like

When I am blamed

And when I burp

I feel ashamed.

I do my best

To stay hydrated

And instead of “you’re wrong”

I say “that can be debated.”

I think guns

Are loud and scary.

I admire Hermione

Moreso than Harry.

No, the thug life’s

Not my scene

But you have at it!

(Just don’t be mean).

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Then After a Twist Of Fate No One Could See Coming…

If your story’s just beginning

But your ideas have run out

There’s no need for disappointment 

So you can quit your silly pout.

All the greatest stories

Lose their steam before the end

And that’s why we continue

The “something lucky happened” trend.

It’s why stormtroopers can’t hit a barn

And main characters don’t get shivved.

Executions are delayed for a monologue

And Harry’s the boy who lived.

It’s why Ringwraith’s can sense the ring

From half a world away

But not when hobbits hold it

With a tree stump in the way.

Heroes outrun explosions

While the villain merely dies.

The white hats still draw faster

Despite the sunlight in their eyes.

So if you want a writing tip

I’ll give you one to keep:

As long as sh*t works out in the end

The fans will lose no sleep.

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Fandoms

Frodo was a wizard

In a blue police box.

He keeps watch over Gotham

And wears “Game of Thrones” socks.

His nemesis was Gary Oak.

He aimed to misbehave.

If you understand this poem

Give a fellow fan a wave.

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Wizard Chow

Bacon-and-egg-flavored cereal
And a glass of milk-flavored water.
That’s the last time I have breakfast
With a tipsy Harry Potter.

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