“Put on some sunscreen,” they said,
“Or else you’ll get all burnt and red.”
Now my flesh is peeling
And I have the feeling
That I have been grossly misled.
Category Archives: Poems
And For June’s Bingo Card…
Donald and Elon sitting in a tree
T.W… oops… X.I.N.G.
First come threats
War comes later
And wait, is that Kanye playing mediator?
Filed under Poems
It Rhymes With Duck (And It’s One Of The Words Timmy CAN Spell)
Timmy was a troubled child
Who wouldn’t do his work.
When Timmy didn’t pass his class
His mom became a jerk
And met with Timmy’s principal:
“If Timmy doesn’t walk
“At graduation, your boss and I
“Will have a little talk.”
Well the principal’s salary
Is based on graduation rate
So he waived Timmy’s missing stuff
And got thanked by the state.
Timmy is a graduate.
The principal got paid.
Society got a synoym
For “screwed” and “loved” and “laid.”
Filed under Poems
Goldreck The Obtuse Didn’t Apply His Social Emotional Learning Outcomes
Today I learned in school
That everyone’s equally cool
So I wore my knickerbocker.
Now I’m cool inside my locker.
Filed under Poems
Pride Month Makes Saving Money Easier
So today I went out to eat
And a rainbow was on my receipt.
Inspired, I resolved
To not get involved
Buying anything ‘til I feel July’s heat.
Filed under Poems
But Jell-O, Pasta, Potatoes, Tacos… All Fair Game
I think when you turn 40
You get a superpower
To make any food into a salad.
But when you’re 45
The option to use vegetables
Besides celery suddenly becomes invalid.
Filed under Poems
Diamonds Are Forever… Like Taxes
“Nothing gold can stay“
Is another way to say
If you’re male and not gay
You’re gonna have to pay.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 