Cinderella is the tale
Of a peasant girl named Ella
Who, by being the only nice girl in the world,
Snares the heart of her fella.
Some say we’d all be Cinderella
If the world were entirely jerks
Yet I haven’t met many princesses
So I don’t think that’s how the world works.
As the clock strikes midnight
In the palace of ice
My glass shoes turn to cowhide,
My horses become mice,
My hair falls in dirty sheets
Over my blouse, which ironically
Is also made of dirty sheets
Which still smell better than me,
And I see my prince’s eyes widen
And he tells me I’m still beautiful
So I slap him and run away
‘Cause I don’t like being objectified
I lived a life of luxury.
I thought I had it all
Until I met my true love
At the climactic royal ball.
Her dress had such a shimmer,
Like her slippers made of glass.
Her smile moved a mountain
And OMG dat ass!
We danced ’til past eleven
Before she fled into the night
Leaving my heart in tatters
And a slipper in her flight.
I picked up the glassy remnant
Of the girl who once was mine
And tried it on. Who would’ve guessed
We both wore a lady’s size 9?
Of all the Disney royalty
That I have had the chance to see
Cinderella would probably be
With whom the Prince would mingle.
For what is it a man must feel
To confidently seal the deal?
A wife who cleans and cooks his meal.
Guess what gals? He’s single!