Tag Archives: Limerick

The Fantasy World Has More Normal Names For Its Cities

There once were some nerds from Puyallup

That imagined some monsters to wallop.

They played D&D

‘Til they passed level 3

And yes, that’s an actual place… Puyallup.

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I Must Join Her, Salient Rhymes Be Damned!

There once was a beautiful woman

Who was my most favoritest human.

She needed to shower

And late was the hour

So I must do what I must be doin’.

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Phoning This One In…

There once was a phone with low battery

That I tried to charge with some flattery.

I said, “Hey there Samsung.

“You look very well hung.”

But it died and now I can’t be chattery.

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Seriously, His Timing Was Impeccable

There once was a beloved cat

Who thought it appropriate that

In a moment of passion

It would be in fashion

To smother my face with its fat.

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Psychiatrists Might Call This “A Cry For Help”

There once was a homicidal maniac

Who like to hold poets hostage.

He may not understand rhyming

But as long as I keep writing

He won’t turn me into bolognese sauce…

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Back To Normal

I went on a trip for 5 days

And I’m grateful in so many ways

To be home once again

Where in peace I can pen

Five-line poems that fail to amaze

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IRS? More Like IQ-0

There once was a federal agency

Who knew how much taxes you owed, you see,

But when you didn’t pay enough

‘Cause math is hard and stuff

They need a whole department to audit ye?

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Enthusiasm Has Its Limits

They put a DVD

In the Nintendo Wii.

They told me “Just Dance”

So I ripped off my pants

And now nobody’s playing with me…

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My Bedtime Is At 8:00… Cut Me Some Slack

There once was a birthday party

That started at 6:30

It went a long time,

Which makes it hard to rhyme

Which is why “30” is now pronounced “tharty”.

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The Placebo Effect

There once was a sinister plot

Much worse than you ever thought…

It involved mind control

And a dark, moonlit stroll.

Now tell: are you worried or not?

—————————————————————

There once was the snazziest plan;

Make it seem just as cool as you can!

Sure, there’s thinking involved…

But the problems it’s solved!

I love me some sugar pills, man!

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