Tag Archives: Limerick

Yes, The Rhyme Is Valid… No, 9:00 and 9 Aren’t The Same

Today I slept in until 9:00

And felt amazingly fine.

Tomorrow, alas,

All good things must pass

For I must wake at 8:59

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Dictionaries: For The Days Your Mind Doesn’t

This evening I’m in a way

Where I feel I must say

That I feel my condition

Is quite laodicean

And thus I call it a day.

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Watch Yourself

Please keep the word mum

‘Cause I did something dumb:

I ordered a clock.

Now at my door, a knock!

I fear my time has come…

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But How Many Decimal Places?

I once knew a shepherd named Sadie

Whose business was just a touch shady.

She had 79 sheep

When she went to sleep

Then she rounded them up and had 80.

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The Streak Continues

There once was a poet, demonic

Whose short, four-line poems were chronic.

‘Twas evening again

And the poet did pen,

To be contrary, this lim’rick ironic.

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It Used To Be An Innocent Day Of Wiccan Ritual… Before The Dark Times

Instead of holidays with mangers

Tonight we ignore all the dangers

Of costumed little shits

Led by cats with big tits

Who, through threats, steal candy from strangers.

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Disclaimer: This Poem Is False… My Wife Takes A Half Marathon

My wife stole 5,280 feet

On our honeymoon cruise down the Nile.

But that’s really ok,

‘Cause you know what they say:

Give her an inch and she’ll take a mile.

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