Tag Archives: Limerick

An American In Paris

When walking les rues de Paris

I see people looking at me.

They laugh, “hua hua hua!”

At je ne sais quoi

And, like any sane person, I flee.

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An Actual Retirement Home On My Street

No matter how I’ve managed to sin

Since my life, long ago, did begin

Please forgive me enough

(Even take all my stuff),

Just don’t leave me at the Woodway Inn!

#RetiredPeopleDon’tDropSoap

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How To Make French Toast?

Could somebody help me, perchance?

I’m vacationing somewhere in France

And my most gracious host

Asked to make them a toast

But objected when the eggs and cream got on their pants…

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In Hindsight, Not A Guy To Cross

Jesus’s phone rang, and so he asked “who dis?”

The voice told him “my name is Judas.”

Looking back on it now

Jesus needn’t’ve said “ow”

If right then he had fled to Barbudas.

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Also, I Seem To Be Getting Smaller…

I look like a million bucks

Which really, REALLY sucks:

I’m paper thin

With off-green skin

And my value’s always in flux.

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Other People’s Cats

Life is like this little guy,

At first cute and fluffy and shy.

It’ll sit on your lap,

Happy purring, then SNAP!

And that’s why I wear this glass eye…

 
“Mimi” – AKA “Snake”

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Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Have A Topic

Some days before going to bed

A little voice speaks in your head:

“Write something funny

“Without sex, dogs, or money,”

And so you write limericks instead.

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