Tag Archives: Limerick

Social Media Arguments

If you’d rather win than be happy

And you’d rather be happy than right

You may be a dumb git

And you’ll feel like shit

But hey! You won that Facebook fight.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

EA Poems

There once was a small stoic duck

Who, alas, had run out of luck.

But he soon hatched a plan

And oh boy and oh man!

Unlock the punchline here.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

When You Break The 11th Commandment

There once was a womxn from Berkeley

Who acted rashly and berserkly.

Zhe drove a non-hybrid car

To an all-vegan bar.

These micro-aggressions were carried out jerkily.

2 Comments

Filed under Poems

Dear Washington…

Those who take the roles

Of conducting political polls

Should receive an MD

In proctology

For their research in helping assholes.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Female Sexuality And Privilege In The Fruit-Curing Industry

If I were to pick a peck of pickled peppers

Peter Piper’d have a bone to pick with me?

But if I gave Ol’ Pete a peck

He’d want to bone, ’cause “what the heck”

And I needn’t pay the Piper… He’d pay me!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Yes, I Accept Requests (Also, Go Hawks)

I was asked by a fan not named Ringo

To write a poem about Barkevius Mingo.

He isn’t a slacker

As an outside linebacker

But his surname limits my descriptive lingo.

2 Comments

Filed under Poems

Oh Sheet…

I started a band where we’d play

Stuff other folks played first. OK?

Then I did discover

Such a band’s called a Cover,

And thus I named our band “Duvet.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems