Tag Archives: Limerick

Women Will Change You

There once was a man named Beyoncé

Who wanted to have a fiancee

But the girls were all like

“Why’s your name not like ‘Mike?’”

Now he goes by his middle name: Chauncey.

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[Title Redacted]

There once was a poet-slash-spy

Who was quite the mysterious guy.

He’d write the last thing he’d think

In invisible ink

.

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It’s A Joke About Thyme, But Alas, It Won’t Rhyme

There once was a guy from Scarborough

Who was fair, but not very thorough.

He made food, garnished sparsely

With sage, rosemary, and parsley

But alas, he didn’t take time enough.

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No Problem Officer… I Handled It

There once was a spider in my room

That met a most violent doom.

Other spiders said “Yahoo!

“Let’s all go there too!”

And that’s why my shotgun went boom.

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Moments Before You Realize Your Cosmic Impotence

The sky had a sun that was adorning

The sky at five a.m. in the morning.

It was bright and obnoxious

And for some reason I thought this:

“Go down now… this is your last warning.”

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Watch Out

There once was a clock on a wrist

That one day became rather pissed.

It said “Time isn’t real,

“So how does that feel?”

Now it is for sale on Craigslist.

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Confessions of a Former Spelling Bee Champion

There once was a guy named Kibau

Who lived on a farm with a plough.

He once swore a vow

Never once to say “Ciao”

And you get the point: Spelling is stupid.

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Frustration is the Catalyst of Many Verbal Quirks

There once was an eloquent person

Whose mental state started to worsen.

The person was me

As you damn well can see

And that’s why I’m just f***ing cursin’.

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Twilight Isn’t The Only Pacific Northwest Love Story

There once was a fellow from Sequim

And a gal who was quite into him

She said “I’m from Snoqualmie

“So why don’t you call me?”

This could be only in Warshington.

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Sir Alec Guinness, Ladies and Gents

There once was a guy named Obi

Whose surname was, weirdly, Kenobi.

Then this kid came along…

“Do you know Obi-Wan?”

And he was like “Of course I know me!”

—————————————————————

There once was a trooper, unnamed,

Who sought droids with data untamed,

But Obi’s like “Pu-lease!

“You ain’t looking for these.”

Only later trooper thought “I got gamed.”

—————————————————————

There one was a giant black guy

Who had a death star in the sky.

Obi met him one day

And was like “Ani! Hey!”

And then Obi-Wan’s like, “Guess I’ll die.”

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