Tag Archives: Limerick

It’s My Birthday, So You HAVE To Like The Post

Today is the day if my birth,

When I first breathed the air of the Earth.

Because of my exodus

From my mom’s uterus

I now create poems with mirth.

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Garden My Turf, Yo

If I were a young urban strawberry

Whose life on the streets turned to robbery

You might think my booty

Would be stabby or shooty

But nope! My violence is clobbery.

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Bertha Lent Him The Razor

There once was a redneck named Darryl

Whose back hair was fiery and feral.

But he shaved it one year

‘Cause it drank all his beers

But hey shucks! Hair will do what hair’ll!

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Also, I Won My Girl A Stuffed Llama, So I’m A Better Boyfriend Than You 😋

I went to the state fair today;

We ate scones and rolled in the hay.

We waited in line

Both to ride and to dine

But ‘twas worth it for plenty of play.

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Episode 12: A New Hope

There once was a Seahawks QB

Who wore a shirt that said “3”.

The fans said “Oh no”

When they watched Russell go

But now they chant “Geno for me!”

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She’s Cute Though…

My girl was trying to write

A poem for me tonight

She tried rhyming “dominion”

With “In my girls arms”

And that’s when we started the fight.

She requested I write her original poem

So here it is, verbatim:

“The Happiest Place On Earth”

Some may call it Disneyland

But we did not meet a bug.

Others call it Ikea,

Though we came home with a rug.

In my own opinion

The happiest dominion

Is that the happiest place on earth

Is in my girl’s arms.

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And The Items On The Shelves Sighed With Relief

There once was an Isle of Cat

Where the felines were wild and fat.

They all got along great,

Which is something cats hate,

So they ran away, and that was that.

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Meta Stuff Is Cool Again, Right?

There once was a guy who drove home

And was tired from toes to his dome.

He wrote a lazy limerick

And rhymed it with slimmer dick

And this won’t get published in my next tome.

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Autobiographical, And An Apology In Advance If I Miss Tomorrow’s Poem

Once again this poem went

To the wilds, and pitched him a tent.

The wifi was iffy

But present, so spiffy!

On that wifi this poem is sent.

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Your Math Teacher Warned You…

There once was a magical hero

Who divided the whole world by zero.

Trof huaknr jshfl ej

Helfpbe nfhoshe nej

Htppbej jfhw jfjr yeega beero.

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