Tag Archives: Limerick

…Until The Courtyard In Question Turns Thirty, The Biological Clock Kicks In, And It Settles For The Secure-But-Unexciting Wall

I was a brick wall. So secure

There was nothing I could not endure,

Yet, while I’m safe in a fire

She wanted barbed wire

‘Cause “Barbed Wire is hotter for sure.”

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Las Story Es Mucho True

If you’re in Puerto Rico

And don’t know how to speako

Know this: The inglés

Is not spoke in the place

And they’ll probably think you’re a freako.

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Shucka-Shucka-Sucka! (Shucks?)

I once knew a Moroccan

Who thought that I was shockin’.

I gave him a shake

To see what sound he’d make

And he said “That’s a maraca, dumbass!”

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Because I’m An A**hole, And Also I Just Saved You Six Hours of Movies

If I got a degree in nursin’

And saw a patient starting to worsen

I’d say “Hey man, you’re dead

“And Rosebud is a sled

“And you and Tyler are the same person.”

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When You Think “That Would Rhyme Well,” Realize You Were Wrong, And Don’t Fix It

There once was a man named Jared Russ

Who was fond of munching canned asparagus.

He ate it all the time

But for lack of a rhyme

Often said things were Ceteris Parabus.

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But People With Pet Spiders…

If you have a snake for a pet

I think it’s a pretty safe bet

That you have one or two kidneys.

You thought this would end differently?

How judgmental can you get?

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New Data Indicates Many Catholics Don’t Enjoy Limericks

I think if I were a nun

I’d want to carry a gun

‘Cause I wouldn’t enjoy

Being mistook for a boy

When the priest says he wants to “have fun.”

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