Once there was some type of snake,
A cobra, asp, or adder.
Since the story’s fictional
It really doesn’t matter.
This adder, I’ve decided,
Was in a farm one day
Sliding its limbless body
Between two bales of hay.
The snake was not observant
And it failed to look both ways.
‘Twas run over by the farmer.
And thus ended its days.
So when the adder rendez-voused
With its rural malefactor
We can say the adder
Suddenly became sub-tractor.
Filed under Poems
Well Jeb, he was a farmer
Workin’ at a dairy.
He milked the cows,
he worked the plows,
Side by side with his loving wife, Mary.
But as a man he had an urge
To power up his life.
So he ate corned beef hash
and saved up his cash
And bought a gift for his wife.
Well Jeb, he covered Mary’s eyes
And led her to the field,
Where there waited a bull,
its proverbial tank full
And its eyes gleaming like a windshield.
“He does zero to 20 in an eighth of a second,”
Jeb boasted, feeling swell.
“He’s got lots of meat,
and a leather seat
And he sings farmer in the dell!”
Mary, well, she had her doubts.
“How much did you pay for this bull?”
“Just a hundred and ten,”
Jeb answered, and then
Mary, a tantrum did pull.
So Jeb had to return his fancy bull
To the fancy bull guy. What a bummer!
But he got his way
The very next day
When he purchased a shiny new hummer.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 