It is a fact from an incited source
That 30 percent of collisions
Are the result of someone driving drunk;
In other words, poor decisions.
That means that 70 percent
Of sober drivers crash.
Driving without drinking
Is, according to statistic, rash.
That fact, if analyzed in depth
Means that driving sober will
Increase your chances by 133%
That, by driving, you will kill.
Circular houses are warmer
Than square houses, I’ve found;
Square houses are ninety degrees in the corners
But circles are 360 all around!
“You have sixteen melons
“And I take ten away.
“What do you have left?”
Just this gun and newfound prey…
My teacher asks “What’s the square root of nine?”
I say the answer is three.
The girlfriend asks “What’s the value of X”
And I say “She means nothing to me!”
I once knew a shepherd named Sadie
Whose business was just a touch shady.
She had 79 sheep
When she went to sleep
Then she rounded them up and had 80.
They said “Name every number.”
I said “Paul.”
They couldn’t refute my argument
And, thus, that was all.
Take the number of roads
A man must walk down
Before he can be called a man,
Then multiply that by negative 1
And you have the number of roads you need walk to be called trans.
I was not prepared
For how badly I’d be scared
When mom called “a^2 + 2ab
“+b^2, come here to me.”
FYI, my name’s (a+b)^2
Today I saw one per cent milk
And so I gave my mom a holler.
Turns it it’s just crappy milk,
Not 100 milks for a dollar.
More men than women study math,
Professionally at least.
This is true from North to South
And also West to East.
It’s not because women are dumb
Or men like math by fate…
It’s that all boys love what happens
When you invert 7,251×8.