Tag Archives: Math

X-1 Teachers

If two trains depart at identical hours

Traveling towards one another

On parallel tracks, both carrying snacks

For the opposite engineer’s mother

When first they pass one another

At speeds varying by a factor of 5

How long will it take before students

Make their teacher no longer alive?

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Teaching Addition In The Inner City

“Mathematics is the study

“Of revenge,” I said to Steven.

“Five and three are at odds,

“But together they got even.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Compound Disinterest

Back in the age when wealthy folk

Made twenty cents an hour,

The internet was in morse code,

And photographs were dour

A strapping lass of 25

Dug up a hidden stash

Of gold bouillon from Mexico

Worth $20 million cash.

She put it in a bank account

That earned an APR

Of 65 percent a year

And traveled wide and far.

A hundred thousand years went by

And humans passed away,

But in an old abandoned bank

The fortune’s there to stay

Until some alien arrives

And withdraws so many bucks

That the number almost equals

How much I think soccer sucks.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

The News Be Like…

It is a fact from an incited source

That 30 percent of collisions

Are the result of someone driving drunk;

In other words, poor decisions.

That means that 70 percent

Of sober drivers crash.

Driving without drinking

Is, according to statistic, rash.

That fact, if analyzed in depth

Means that driving sober will

Increase your chances by 133%

That, by driving, you will kill.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Math Is Hot

Circular houses are warmer

Than square houses, I’ve found;

Square houses are ninety degrees in the corners

But circles are 360 all around!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

The Right Answer Is Not Always Correct

“You have sixteen melons

“And I take ten away.

“What do you have left?”

Just this gun and newfound prey…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Math Anxiety

My teacher asks “What’s the square root of nine?”

I say the answer is three.

The girlfriend asks “What’s the value of X”

And I say “She means nothing to me!”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

But How Many Decimal Places?

I once knew a shepherd named Sadie

Whose business was just a touch shady.

She had 79 sheep

When she went to sleep

Then she rounded them up and had 80.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Math Meets Meth

They said “Name every number.”

I said “Paul.”

They couldn’t refute my argument

And, thus, that was all.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Bob Dylan, Social Justice, and Math

Take the number of roads

A man must walk down

Before he can be called a man,

Then multiply that by negative 1

And you have the number of roads you need walk to be called trans.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems