Tag Archives: Farmers

But If It Were Traveling At 4 Miles Per Hour For 12 Minutes How Far Apart Were The Hay Bales?

Once there was some type of snake,

A cobra, asp, or adder.

Since the story’s fictional

It really doesn’t matter.

This adder, I’ve decided,

Was in a farm one day

Sliding its limbless body

Between two bales of hay.

The snake was not observant

And it failed to look both ways.

‘Twas run over by the farmer.

And thus ended its days.

So when the adder rendez-voused

With its rural malefactor

We can say the adder

Suddenly became sub-tractor.


Filed under Poems

The Sports Cow

Well Jeb, he was a farmer
Workin’ at a dairy.
He milked the cows,
he worked the plows,
Side by side with his loving wife, Mary.

But as a man he had an urge
To power up his life.
So he ate corned beef hash
and saved up his cash
And bought a gift for his wife.

Well Jeb, he covered Mary’s eyes
And led her to the field,
Where there waited a bull,
its proverbial tank full
And its eyes gleaming like a windshield.

“He does zero to 20 in an eighth of a second,”
Jeb boasted, feeling swell.
“He’s got lots of meat,
and a leather seat
And he sings farmer in the dell!”

Mary, well, she had her doubts.
“How much did you pay for this bull?”
“Just a hundred and ten,”
Jeb answered, and then
Mary, a tantrum did pull.

So Jeb had to return his fancy bull
To the fancy bull guy. What a bummer!
But he got his way
The very next day
When he purchased a shiny new hummer.

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Filed under Poems