There once was a criminal crew
Who knew precisely what to do.
They went on a heist
And their planning sufficed
And the film got an awful review.
Tag Archives: Heist
The Thief’s Downfall
I scouted out the diamond vault.
I broke in late at night.
I yoga’ed through the laser beams
And set the door alight.
I grabbed the bag of jewels
As the distant sirens screamed,
But as I made my exit
I forgot something, it seemed…
My velvet gloves were black as jet,
My goggles oversized.
My bicycle-powered plane was fast
But soon I realized
I’d left my top hat in the vault
As through the clouds I sailed.
Yes, I got away scot free
But, in my heart, I’d failed.
Filed under Poems
The Art Of Heisting
I saw a priceless piece of art
Hanging on your wall.
I dug a slit beneath it
Into which it could fall.
I shook the house forcefully
With a wrecking ball,
And now to find the painting,
Through rubble I must crawl.
It seemed a good idea
For thieving at the time.
Your house was so unguarded
And perfect for a crime,
And the painting was so beautiful
It’d sell for quite a dime.
Alas, my plan was vetted
By an unreliable mime.
So because of my planner’s silence
I made a lot if noise
With the pretense of stealing
Your super pretty toys.
I hope I’ll find a better partner
Among the orange-jumpsuited boys.
Ah, the art of heisting
And all its simple joys.
Filed under Poems
One Day Late
His hands sweated inside his gloves
As the final tumbler fell into place.
He extracted the box and ran,
Relief flooding across his washed out face.
He made it to the getaway,
The rainbow that would take him away from harms,
And he pictured the pot of gold
He’d get for stealing the lucky charms.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 