I was a monster hunter
In a past life, but alas
I was reincarnated
As a big-mouth billy bass
And instead of hunting demons,
Slaying dragons and the like
I sing “Take me to the river”
To a naked guy named “Spike.”
It wasn’t quite the future
I imagined when I fell.
I did not find Valhalla
But a special sort of Hell.
But in between my bursts of song
And bobbing of my head
I dream of where I’ll be reborn
When next I’m stricken dead…
Filed under Poems
This one takes sone explanation.
‘Twas late and I lacked imagination
So I asked “what to write? The words just won’t come!
My parents said “Karma or Fritos.”
Now you know where I get it from.
Filed under Poems
I’ve never murdered anyone,
Nor been charged with any crime.
That’s not to say I’m innocent:
I jaywalk all the time.
I can’t help but wonder
If Karma will punish me.
Maybe I’ll be the victim of a victimless crime?
I guess we’ll just wait and see.
Filed under Poems
‘Twas a right cheery morning
Halfway through June
As I stretched and awakened
I did get mooned.
Before this I had thought that
The moon was round.
And those thoughts weren’t old hat:
It weighed ten pounds.
That there mooning was stressful.
What did I do?
I wrangled a gator, yes.
Then it I threw.
Gator sailed through the window
Bit off mooner’s arm. Uh,
What can this man say?
I fulfill mooner’s Karma.
Wouldn’t it be nice if real life worked this way?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 