Tag Archives: Writer’s Block

Seriously, When Was The Last Time You Went To The Movies And Enjoyed It?

Someone in Hollywood decided

“What if instead of crappy flicks

“We badly remade everything people love

“And when they complain, say that they’re dicks?”

Everyone outside Hollywood

Disliked this judgement call,

But on the bright side, now people

See that books aren’t that bad after all.

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Last Night’s Bad Decisions Lead To… Not Exactly Redemption

Whenever a poem begins with “tonight”

You pretty much know it’s no good

So this morning I’m writing early

Because I figure I should.

The problem is autobiographical poems

Are also universally mediocre

So maybe instead of being a poet

I should take up professional poker?

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It Was A Valiant Effort At Least…

There once was a poet I knew

Who wrote poems at 11:52.

Tonight he was inspired

To write before he got tired

But, alas, tonight’s poem sucks too…

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Sheer Will Can Only Go So Far

Tonight I have no topics

To write a poem about…

But will that stop me? Never!

I’m shocked you’d ever doubt!

No force of man or nature

Can stop me writing junk.

As big tech corporations say:

“It’s a feature, not a funk.”

In fact, when I’m inspired

I might settle for one stanza

About something that sounds funny

Like Swaziland or Lufthansa.

But today, despite my lack

Of anything resembling a point

I wrote a lengthy poem

And if you don’t like it, suck my groint.

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Weirdness Is Genetic

This one takes sone explanation.

‘Twas late and I lacked imagination

So I asked “what to write? The words just won’t come!

My parents said “Karma or Fritos.”

Now you know where I get it from.

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What’s Ablution Anyway?

So I had writer’s block again.

To Google I was bound.

I searched for poetry topics

And here is what I found:

“Abandoned, ablution, acrostic, adultery, affliction, Africa, aggravation, aggression.”

I don’t have a meaningful poem today

But that isn’t terribly bad.

I could have written about aggressive adulterous ablution

But would you be happier if I had?

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When You Want To Complain But You Have Writer’s Block

The world is really beautiful

But doesn’t have enough

Cheese-based lukewarm beverages

(And generally lukewarm-cheese stuff).

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A Constipated Mind

‘Twas the night before Christmas

And things were amiss.

A poet was blocked up

And so he wrote this.

But you’ve all got presents

And family and junk,

So I hope you’ll forgive me

This holiday funk.

And if you lack junk,

Family, and gifts,

Let’s hope that next year

Your luck favorably shifts.

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Real Life With Travis T.

I watched a football game today,

Played a concert with my friends,

And changed the oil in my truck,

And with that this poem ends.

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Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Have A Topic

Some days before going to bed

A little voice speaks in your head:

“Write something funny

“Without sex, dogs, or money,”

And so you write limericks instead.

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